Friday, November 28, 2008


Why y'all, why? Who started this crazy idea of waiting in line at all hours of the morning, just to get a flat screen TV for $399, that honestly, nobody really needs? This is the age of internet and when people are willing to let us shop in the comfort of our homes and then deliver our purchases to our front door, why would any sane person even think about going out and dealing with the marketing crack known as "Black Friday"? Miss Vero thinks y'all are fools for even considering the idea. Let us offer an alternative for your holiday shopping needs:

A heartfelt thank you to Mr. Tim Dorsey for sendin us that email!

And of course, for your shopping convenience, y'all can get anything at just by clickin through that little box on the right. Stay at home, save gas, be civilized, pour yourselves a cocktail and shop a way, on your own time schedule! It's the 21st century hunnies! Gotta love that technology!


Thursday, November 27, 2008


No matter if it's tofurkey or traditional, have a thankful day. And if y'all have a moment, check out the video over at the Pirates of DelMar, cause if there's one thing we love to watch on Turkey Day it's that big ole balloon parade!

Thanks to all our friends, followers and family and a special thanks to our contributors, Max Newport and LDouglas for comin on board at the Beach House!


Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Nope. Not what y'all are thinking, we'll let LDouglas explain -


I know I said it last week but now that I have your attention, I'll say it again. The environment, the food we eat, and our health are all connected. I was reminded of that this week when I received another action alert from Food and Water Watch. This time it's to ask the EPA to set a standard for the amount of perchlorates, (an ingredient in rocket fuel) allowed in our drinking water.

The EPA failed to set limits in September even though their own scientists recommended establishing limits. Officials went as far as deleting a reference to scientific studies showing a reduction in thyroid function in infants enough to cause a loss of IQ as well as an increase in behavioral and perception problems due to their effect. Studies are also suggesting that it is a carcinogen. Which maybe explains the two to fourfold increase in thyroid cancers since perchlorate interferes with the body’s ability to take up iodine and produce thyroid hormones.

In the environment it comes from fireworks, some fertilizers, and though it also occurs naturally, it mostly comes from military bases. And therein lies the problem of getting the EPA to establish a limit. They were pressured by the Pentagon not to regulate them. (The Washington Post reported it was because a nationwide cleanup could cost a lot of money and several defense contractors, the main source of contamination, threatened to sue the Defense Department to help pay for one if it's required.)

Our biggest source of contamination for the lagoon and our drinking water, if any, is most likely coming from Cape Canaveral and Patrick Air Force Base. I have to say "if any" because we don't know. When Patrick Air Force base was asked to check the groundwater for contamination they said no, not until the government requires it. And since the government hasn't established a limit, municipal water suppliers don't have to test for it either. Several states have established their own limits for perchlorates in drinking water but Florida isn't one of them. (I looked at the City of Vero Beach water quality summary and it wasn't listed.)

Even if there isn't any in our drinking water there's still a good possibility it’s in our lagoon, our food and our bodies. The FDA did a study and found it in three quarters of 285 commonly consumed foods and beverages.
In another study over 2,000 people were tested for it and it was found in all of them. It’s been found in drinking water in 35 states, including Florida. It's been found in breast milk at unsafe levels. It’s even been found where there were no suspected sources of contamination.

Since we can’t know for sure the amount in our food (for instance, lettuce samples from Belle Glade had levels of 1.3 ppb all the way to up to 73 ppb), establishing a limit in drinking water would be one of the best ways to protect us from surpassing what is “deemed safe” for us.

Now, I hope I didn't lead you on too badly with the love triangle title. It's just that I believe right now our food, our environment and our health is very much like a love triangle. Chemicals are sneaking into our water behind our back polluting us and our food, while our food is doing the same to our water and us. Meanwhile, the unsuspecting partner, our health, pays the price. It’s just not a very honest or good relationship.
On the other hand, since they all have a deep connection- our environment, our food and our health, a polyamory, would be just fine. A polyamory (from Greek poly, meaning many or several and Latin amor, literally “love”) is the practice of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
A much healthier relationship, wouldn't you say?
Here's the letter to the EPA if you'd like to sign on:

Here’s a letter to the editor of the PJ someone wrote last year about perchlorates. I had e-mailed him for a copy of the article but couldn’t find it when I wrote this. I did find his letter though through the magic of Google. He does a nice job of explaining just how bad perchlorates are for us and the creatures who live in the Indian River Lagoon. Here's a link:

TTFN, LDouglas


Tuesday, November 25, 2008


Before the Turkey day and on the round about way to our Thanksgiving destination, we thought it'd be a good idea to make a stop in Okeechobee. Y'all know, it just seemed like the thing to do and besides, there's always someone in the car who has a hankerin for some catfish, in our case case it was the Secret Squirrel. A common problem, right?

While over the years, we have been to every big city and backwater town in Florida, Miss Vero hasn't been out that way in a while. The last time we thought about catfish was when we did our little "Muck in Fellsmere" post back in May. That road trip idea was so good, that some folks actually printed it out and followed our tour all the way to Kenansville. Check it out

Of course we stopped by the "Big Lake", just to make sure it was still there, behind the levee. We took the time to get out and feel the breeze. Lovin the weather at this time of year, we almost forgot how beautiful the landscape of undeveloped Florida is, it reminds us of days way before, when things were simple. By the time the sun was setting,we felt like we were driving through a Highwaymen painting:

We hadn't been to Lightsey's in while, but it was just like we remembered. And besides catfish, they had cooter, gator and grouper cheeks. It's an old Florida tradition, well maybe not too old, but it did first open in 1977 and we've been going there for a while. Wish we could give y'all a link to their web site, but hunnies, they don't have one! Y'all are just gonna have to take the time to google a map and get out there for yourselves.

Now, we know y'all like gossip and good lip sparring, but sometimes it's refreshing just to take a long drive somewhere that doesn't require getting on I-95 and breathe some fresh air. Miss Vero is happy to provide y'all with a little palette cleansing between the hot talk and martinis. Catfish sorbet anyone?

Yes that's right, Miss Vero- now available in sober!

But don't worry too much, it's just the effects of getting out of town and not having to be stuck in Vero, it'll pass.


Monday, November 24, 2008


Hey kids, it's that time again when we sit back and listen to the tales of our friend, Max Newport. Today ole Max has a few issues with a local source that sprouts sour fruit. Now y'all know, Max and Miss Vero don't necessarily agree on everything, but we do agree on this. Max and I were talking about just how much we can juice this particular topic and how much longer we'll have to endure this tart typist. We've come to the conclusion that our efforts to try and understand the wisdom of the PJ editors in continuing the Lemmon bombs are, well... fruitless!

Just when we think it can't get any worse, it does. Really, who actually pays money to see Donny and Marie in Las Vegas. And then admits it. In print. Honestly, we don't know whether to laugh or cry. It's almost as bad as all the putrid puns we just tossed your way. But not quite.

Max Newport

Last week I was having lunch with a friend who, of course, knows me but does not know Max. We were discussing the aftermath of the elections and mention was made of perhaps the lamest and most pathetic article ever published by the Press Journal which was a special Saturday appearance of Russ “Are you calling me a liar?” Lemmon on November 1, just a few days before the election. My friend wondered why the paper would hire someone who was obviously not very bright, had no sense of humor and was quite lazy as a fact checker to be a writer on local issues; especially when it was quite apparent he knows nothing about Vero Beach!

I conjectured that maybe the paper was looking for a “fish out of water” perspective reminiscent of “The Beverly Hillbillies” and “Green Acres”. His wife being one of the editors for the Scripps organization may have been a factor as well. Lemmon used his special Saturday appearance to blatantly call Kay Clem a liar because she challenged his ability to, now get this, rely on actual facts for his stories.

Russ adeptly typed:

Supervisor of Elections Kay Clem is at it again. Lying, that is. On a paid political advertisement that will run throughout the weekend on Channel 10, Clem told this whopper about me: "He told me in my office he doesn't have to worry about the facts — he just has to get the story out."

He then goes on to challenge Ms. Clem to a polygraph to be administered the DAY BEFORE THE ELECTION!!! Can you imagine the headlines if the supervisor of elections abandoned her duties to go along with Lemmon’s little ploy?And yes, if Lemmon claims that he worries about the facts, then he is a liar. He proved that when he failed to include the FACT that the elections office was closed when he accused Kay Clem of being on a “shopping spree” in Orlando instead of being in her office. Including this fact would detract from the inference that he was trying to make against Clem and for the obvious apple of his eye, Cathy Hart. Is that consistent with someone who “worries about the facts”?

If omission of a fact that does not fit your agenda constitutes a lie, and I say it does, then Russ Lemmon is a liar. With a little help from Google, it is not hard to discover that Lemmon has a legacy for this type of behavior while a typist at The Toledo Blade.

Russ Lemmon is a remarkable fool. Toledo standards are low enough that he is notable :-) ' posted by katie82640 at 10:43 P.M. EST on Tue Jul 04, 2006

Russ Lemmon's 'column' is a waste of newsprint (although it could be intelligently argued the entire paper is). posted by Darkseid at 05:51 A.M. EST on Wed Jul 05, 2006

Lemmon is writing out of both sides of his mouth. posted by sparky at 07:21 A.M. EST on Wed Jul 05, 2006

I wouldn't take too much of what Russ Lemmon says seriously. They should put his non-media watchdog columns on the funnies page. posted by Kevin at 11:09 P.M. EST on Mon Jun 27, 2005

Hooda Thunkit said…Maggie, Don't take Russ too seriously, hardly anyone else does ;-) He is known for, and prides himself on, never letting the facts ruin one of his stories.

historymike said... Heh. Agreed about the creator of the Lemmon Droppings. He's light on content and heavy on drivel, as well as the antithesis of everything that is good about the Blade. On the rare occasions I make it through an entire Russ Lemmon column, I end up questioning if I am secretly masochistic. There is no other explanation for my persistence.

Kate said... You know my Gr'ma used to say God was fair. He either doled out brains or looks. Anybody ever seen this Lemmon guy? He must be one handsome dude....

Those were found after about a ten minute session on the search engine. The Toledo Blade, for some reason, decided not to make the comments to his articles available. Can you think of any reason why they would not want us to read those nuggets? Max is stumped.When Lemmon left the Blade to grace us with his presence, Ohio Media Watch kind of left me with the impression that his presence would not be sorely missed.

“OMW has not heard of any possible replacement for Lemmon as far as the Blade's radio/TV/media beat is concerned, and we wouldn't be surprised if they just did not fill it...”

Max has probably picked on Russ enough for one sitting. Lemmon is such a gold mine. I have enough for two more articles without revisiting my friend Google. I’ll save the six packs and April Fool for later but I must comment on Lemmon’s typing last week about his trip to Viva Las Vegas. As I read it, the highlight of the trip was seeing Donnie and Marie and counting six construction cranes from his 12th floor hotel room. Last year, while on vacation he went to Toledo and wrote a column for the Blade.

Let the good times roll you party animal!

Now Russ does have a way of fighting back against his so-called cyberpunks and yes, he is brutal.

Jan. 15, 2006--Seven molasses-coated Lemmon Drops to nibble on while waiting for "Sassy Sarah" to enter a 12-step program for Internet addiction:

Maybe someday Max Newport and Miss Vero can reach the lofty heights achieved by “Sassy Sarah”. Until then, we can only hope.


Friday, November 21, 2008


Any of y'all see the nakid man running around on the beach last week? No? Neither did we, but apparently when the IRSO dispatcher asked the caller how they knew the man was nood and not just wearin a skin colored swim suit, the caller said "becuase we can see his giant member dangle!" - Thanks to one of our favorite Beach House readers for sending that in!

There are those days, when nothing much happens around these parts. We feel bad when we can't get y'all a fresh page of postin each and every morning. But at least we try. Miss Vero will not bore y'all with the mindless counting of signs and licence plates. But hey, we're just a simple little blog and we wonder why y'all depend on us so much and then we remind ourselves it is because of the other offerings out there - like the aforementioned mindless counting of signs and licence plates, the in depth review of the Olive Garden (thanks, y'all know who at the PJ) and the local tv10 news - who have still not updated their we site since we started bloggin back in May.

We're also a little disappointed with the online presence of some of our favorites in town. Verobeach32963 has a great paper but we wish they would update the online edition.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY RHETT PALMER - now do us a favor and get your online forum up and running.

Ok, we're done complaining.

Now, since some of y'all might have some time on your hands , Miss Vero is askin y'all to send in your stuff! That's right, help a blogger out.

Thank goodness we have MaxNewport and LDouglas, who have been ever so kind to lend us their talent and intellect. And of course our old friends, Miss B. Havior, Blessurheart, Fairy Delilah, Lola and Jethro Bovine. But while everyone else is downsizing, The Beach House would like to expand, so if y'all have something new and exciting send it on in!

Please kids, don't make us start countin things. Let's see... 4 martinis last night, two tequila shots on just isn't pretty.


Thursday, November 20, 2008


Sorry we're a little late today kids, Miss Vero had to sleep in to recover from last nights dinner party. Nothing elaborate, just a little get together to cheer up a few friends who have been recently "downsized". On the menu - "tossed" salad and beef "stroke-meoff", all washed down with a generous supply of Effen vodka martinis. Probably way too many Effen vodka martinis, but we just couldn't help ourselves, the prices at the new Crown wine and spirits store out on route 60 were so reasonable. $19.99 for a bottle of Effen vodka and yes there really is such a thing!

We spent some time shopping out there and we have to tell y'all - we are in love! It is simply the best new store for alkeehaul and party supplies in Vero! The folks there are just so ever helpful and they let y'all taste the fabulous cheeses, snack items and do a little wine tasting to boot! Miss Vero loves, loves, loves it and this Saturday they are havin a little grand opening party from 6-8pm.

In fact, y'all could do all your holiday shoppin at that store. They have the most beautiful holiday gift baskets. Honestly, we are not easily impressed, but the selection of food, gifts and alkeehaul was incredible. They even have a little gift wrapping station and cards to make it one stop!


Looks like the location that was formally Rip's Ribs will keep it's carnivore theme and become MT's Chophouse and we hear that they're trying to open before the end of the year:

The Peruvian Restaurant on Royal Palm Pointe is being remodeled and yet another Italian restaurant will be moving in.

Costa D'Este has a new General Manager, we hear she's a lovely woman of Puerto Rican decent who will keep the resort flavorful.


That's nothing new. But hey y'all, remember all the hoopla about that dog that was found in Fellsmere? Y'all know the one that had special surgery and the PJ posted the story to find the owners, actually we think they posted a coupla stories. With all the interest that the PJ seemed to have in this story, imagine our surprise when we read in the Florida Today that the owners were found and decided they didn't want the dog after all. Thanks also to a Beach House reader who had seen the story and wondered when the PJ would follow up:

We won't even go into Mr. Lemmon's column today of his "adventure" in Sin City. Puh-leassse!
If that wasn't hilarious enough, the first comment by the sharp LDouglas mad us laugh so hard, our head started hurting! And then of course, MaxNewport chimed in and made us laugh some more! Ouch, there's that headache again. Oh well, maybe a little hair of the lost dog?


Wednesday, November 19, 2008



There, I said it. I'm not a reporter so I'm not going to hide my bias. If there's one thing I'm as passionate about at Green Acres as I am of the environment, it's the food we eat and our health. And it just so happens that they're all connected. How we produce our food affects our environment as well as our health. When it comes to genetically engineered (GE) or modified (GM) crops, what many call "frankenfoods", it's no different (though assuredly worse).

But I'm not going to bother with the environmental aspects of GE foods today. Though they're vast and important, I'm going to stick to the food and health aspect of them. Besides, the images I could stir up of what the possible hazards are of unleashing an unproven technology into the outdoors isn't as scary as the possible hazards of what eating those foods could do to us- and what studies are starting to show.

You're probably aware of GE or GM corn, soybeans, cottonseed, canola and soon sugar beets. What you may not be aware of is that there have been over 60 serious health risks documented when feeding GE and GM foods to laboratory and farm animals. Those risks include serious fertility problems, lower birth weights and increased mortality in offspring of laboratory animals among other not so pleasant things to farm animals. (They're pointed out in detail in the book "Genetic Roulette" by Jeffrey M. Smith.)

But those foods pale to what is up next for GE and GM foods. Pharma crops to produce drugs and industrial chemicals and genetically engineered or modified animals. Other than creating industrial chemicals in crops, this technology is being touted as the answer to feeding or medicating a growing population. Done right, maybe they could be. For instance, scientists creating genetically engineered corn with antibodies to prevent the virus that causes AIDS or genetically engineered salmon that grows twice as fast as regular farmed salmon seems promising. But setting aside the environmental and now also setting aside ethical issues, they're not being done right. The USDA is considering relaxing regulations on growing pharma crops outdoors. Engineering food plants to be medicine in a global economy opens the door to people being medicated who shouldn't be. Also, drift happens. Corn pollen can travel miles away pollinating other corn plants not intended as medicine.

As far as the salmon goes, the reason they grow twice as fast is because they're engineered with a protein that makes them produce a growth hormone year-round. That makes them aggressive eaters. It may be an old cliché, but we are what we eat. We know fish oil feeds our brains. How do we know if the trait genetically engineered into salmon couldn't transfer to the humans or pets that eat them?

The FDA is responsible for regulating GE fish and farm animals and is currently drafting (or has just drafted) rules for an approval process that requires review of the effectiveness of the genetically engineered trait and any health impact on the ANIMAL, but no review or studies on the health impact to humans who eat those animals. There's also no provisions for making companies label genetically engineered meat that ends up on grocery store shelves allowing us to be informed consumers.

Even Andrew Zimmern from the Travel Channel's "Bizarre Foods" wants to know what he's eating before he eats it!

And I'm no Andrew Zimmern.

But I'd willingly eat what he eats before I'd willingly eat frankenfoods.

Because it's not just limited to salmon engineered to grow fast. They've genetically engineered goats with spider genes so their milk produces silk stronger than steel. They've engineered pigs with mouse and bacterial DNA to improve their digestion to limit pollution. They've genetically engineered cows to produce disease-fighting human antibodies in the plasma of their blood. There are more examples but you get the idea.

Let me tell you that I don't believe this technology is about feeding a growing population or providing them with cheap drugs. I believe it's strictly about corporate profits. If there were true altruistic people behind them they would instead work towards a clean environment and producing healthy food through organic farming and green chemistry. They would clean up the oceans and promote sustainable fisheries. They would not risk our health, the health of future generations or our planet by creating foods and medicines that are not freely shared but corporately controlled. Remember, our health is directly connected to the health of the environment as well as to the food we eat. We wouldn't need to “engineer” our food and medicine if we cleaned up our environment, produced healthy food (and fostered family planning).

Anyway, it seems illogical to me that GE animals fall under the FDA and GE pharma crops fall under the USDA but that's the way it is. The Union of Concerned Scientists has a pre-written letter to the USDA to oppose weakening the regulations on growing pharma crops. If you oppose it too you can find it here:

Food and Water Watch has a pre-written letter to the FDA asking them to ban GE animals for food. You can find it here:

Here’s an article explaining why the FDA regulates GE animals:

A good article " Pharma Crops' Threaten Food Safety":

Another good article "Should Biotech Piggy go to Market?" (You may have to hit enter in the upper right hand corner to read it.)

And here’s a link to the Institute for Responsible Technology website where you can learn more about GE foods:

Tofu anyone? Oh, wait. Is it made from non GMO sourced soybeans?

TTFN, LDouglas

If y'all would like to email LDouglas, to discuss her postin in length, please just send it to Miss Vero and we promise it will arrive safely. Of course, comments are always encouraged!


Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Y'all know by now, that Miss Vero is not a big fan of sports. But we drove by Dodgertown the other day and fondly remembered times we had at the old Dodgertown Country Club. Over the years we enjoyed many a luncheon there and even though we thought it odd to drive through that little trailer park to get to the clubhouse, it just seemed so accessible.

These days, not many places are quaint like that and the old landmarks are fadin fast. Look at all the old Vero lost this year - The Patio, The Quik-Snak, Mrs. B's, Lenny's Lounge - gone, gone, gone. Unfortunately, these places will fade into our memories like a lot of others (Marvin Gardens?), but Dodgertown was a defining part of Vero Beach.

Here's a fascinatin look at the Dodgertown history that we had never seen before:

And we suppose the old days and the hometown feel of Holman Stadium is really gone forever along with reasonable ticket prices.

This would be a good day for a martini. And did y'all know that in LA (Los Angeles, not Lower Alabama!), when y'all go to see the Dodgers they have a martini bar? Really!:

Maybe we'll just have to make do back here in Vero. Hey! We could could count licence plates or signs the way that ole Russ passes the time!:

Yawn...or maybe not.


Monday, November 17, 2008


Well kids, today Max goes a little "coconuts" in his rather humorous, but PG rated story. Miss Vero enjoyed it and we hope y'all have a good time too!

Max Newport

A few weeks ago there was a big prostitution bust in Saint Lucie County where thirty or so people were arrested based upon advertisements placed in the “erotic jobs” section of Craigslist. The Press Journal thought enough of this raid to make it the top story on the front page, complete with color booking photographs of those arrested for mostly misdemeanor offenses. Checking TCPalm, the story is dated October 24th but that might not be the date of publication in the print edition. The Newports faithfully recycle every Friday so there are no old newspapers gathering dust in this house to actually check the date.

While reading that story, my memory prompted a conversation I had with a colleague about ten years ago. After digesting the less than savory news story, I looked at the front page of the classifieds and sure enough there was an ad for “Paradise Men’s Club” with a phone number and the words “Melbourne, FL”. During that conversation long ago, a female co-worker and I were enjoying the daily newspaper and a cup of highly caffeinated beverage in our break room when she pointed out the ad and said “Isn’t this stuff illegal?” I envisioned a group of well dressed men lounging around in an elegant room drinking cognac and smoking expensive cigars enjoying raucous laughter at an off color joke. My colleague told me it was a house of ill repute, a brothel, a bawdy house, you know . . . a House of the Rising Sun type establishment.

Shortly after, I drove by the place on my way home from Best Buy (we didn’t have one here at the time) and saw the exterior of the building and it appeared to be a dump. My visions of elegance disappeared. Then it hit me. The Press Journal has a lot of gall to put this Craigslist story on the front page (along with the free color booking photos they obtained courtesy of a local hoosegow website) when they may be, in essence, promoting the same services on the front page of another section of their very own newspaper!

So Max Newport began a quest to discover just what in the heck is going on in Paradise? Now Max is the kind of guy who suspects anything that goes on outside of the Newport Castle is capable of being captured on videotape. My football watching buddy and compadre “Pete” (I will call him that since no one else ever has) has no such compunction nor does he have a Mrs. Newport to explain something like that to. “Pete” promised to check out the place, lock his wallet in the car and give me a full report with specific details.

Here is a summary of what he experienced at Paradise Men’s Club: After walking in the door in the back of the building, he noticed a brightly lit room to the right of the hallway which he said “looked like a kitchen”. He was approached by a somewhat attractive scantily clad young lady who introduced herself by first name. “Pete” is not good at remembering names. She asked immediately if he had been there before and he replied that he had. Then she wanted the name of the girl he was with and he pulled the name “Lisa” out of thin air. That must have been good enough for the “hostess” to ask him to follow her to a darkened room where three other scantily clad ladies were sitting on a couch doing absolutely nothing. No television, magazines, cigarettes or drinks. Yep. Just sitting there. The hostess introduced “Pete” to all three by name and him being the perfect gentleman . . . after all this is a gentlemen’s club, offered and received a friendly handshake from each. He was then asked to make a selection from the four. He chose the hostess since she was “already standing up”. Always the gentleman, that “Pete”.

The hostess then guided him to a room that he described as “almost medical”. The bed looked more like an examination table than a bed. She asked him to have a seat and the negotiations began. “She talked to me like I was wearing a wire,” he said. There was no talk of sex but there were gestures accompanying the suggestions of $100 and $150 that could be interpreted as sexual. When she got to $200 she struck a pose reminiscent of an Olympic gymnast at the end of her floor exercise and proclaimed with an exuberant smile “You get me”!!! At that point “Pete” complained that Lisa charged a lot less. “Well, that could be why Lisa doesn’t work here anymore,” the hostess replied somewhat huffily. He politely thanked the lady for her time, saw a sign on the wall that said “It is always proper for a gentleman to ask a lady a question” and while wondering to himself what in the heck that meant, left the building.

No money was exchanged. Nothing illegal occurred. Watching him share his recollections of the big day was far more eventful and animated than my feeble attempts to capture the happening in mere words. But that does leave us lingering with the question of what is going on there at that Paradise Men’s Club? “Pete” departed the club with the opinion that had he forked over $200 he would have walked away with a lot more than a handshake and a dirty look from the hostess. Maybe even more than he was asking for. Maybe something that couldn’t be cured by a shot of penicillin.

As reliable and trustworthy as my friend may be, Max is not going to rely on hearsay to form a conclusive opinion of this time honored establishment. There is only one way to find out for sure and Max just ain’t gonna do it. So the question goes unanswered, at least conclusively. But if my friend “Pete” is correct in his assessment, our local news source is being quite hypocritical and contradictory depending on which section of the paper you look at. Isn’t deriving proceeds from prostitution a crime in the State of Florida? I do believe it is. Maybe the Press Journal is a little miffed that potential lookers for hookers are using a free website rather than patronizing their reliable daily advertiser. The smell of money has made them overlook the possible illegal activity they are promoting to their readers.

Now, if you will excuse me, it’s time to do a Google search for Craigslist.

Y'all know, Max loves comments - so don't disappoint!


Friday, November 14, 2008


It's hard to believe, but two weeks from today, most of y'all will be stuffed to the gills with turkey, pumpkin pie and all the formal fixins that go into makin that meal. Now most people get together at home with their families, but Miss Vero finds that this is the perfect occasion to get out of town. OK, we'll be honest, we find any time is the perfect occasion to get out of town.

Our own little turkey tradition doesn't involve a turkey at all, it actually involves a big ole pot of somethin we call low country boil, which is a favorite of people livin in the coastal Georgia area and there abouts. The recipe is a mess a shrimp, some sausage, cob corn and liberal amounts of Old Bay seasoning. Messy, after the shrimp peelin, but clean up's a breeze, cause y'all just dump the whole mess on some newspaper and roll it up when everybody's finished. Good time of the year to have the PJ on hand.

Miss Vero and entourage have found an enjoyable way to continue this tradition and we're gonna share our idea for a fun time with y'all. You see, there's quite a few of us from all different parts, so each year we just rent us a big ole house in a different location. This is actually a lot easier than it sounds, especially with some of our favorite websites that offer up these places.

Just for fun, we wondered what type of accommodations we could find in our own backyard. Take a look at the offerings from a few of the web sites:

Here's a lovely little beach house, but alas, too small for our group:

A cottage that boasts a feature in Vero Beach Magazine:

But here's a little spot down south that would really work for us:

and if that's not available, maybe this:

We wonder if they'd mind us puttin down newspapers to catch the shrimp peelins?

Now if y'all don't want to skip town or have the turkey at home, y'all can always go out to eat. The Costa D' Este is having a thanksgiving "special":

And speaking of the Costa D'Este -

Congratulations to Mrs. Gloria Estefan - Big Time Latin Grammy winner!

And congratulations also to Mr. José Feliciano, who played at Captain Hiram's one night. Yup, little known fact, Mr. Feliciano has a good friend who lives in Vero and one night at the Sand Bar, Mr. Feliciano serenaded a select (and surprised) few.

Now why doesn't stuff like that happen around here more often?

Y'all have a good weekend, we'll be back Monday with Max!


Thursday, November 13, 2008


It has been especially nice to have new and welcomed guests at the Beach House. Max Newport and LDouglas are a breath of fresh air and Miss Vero is very happy that y'all are so kind and receptive to their views and ideas. Y'all know that they work hard, with no reward other than your attention and we appreciate the way in which y'all have been hospitable.

Of course there's going to be a few that are sending off emails askin "why isn't this funny anymore?' Who are these people?" Why are they making us think so much?" Where's the gossip?" and so on and so forth.

Well hunnies, Miss Vero started out just a few months ago (it seems like years) back in May and has provided y'all with a post every day with the exception of weekends and even then there were a few. We have gossiped - which we always caveat by saying something like "now y'all know this is just a rumor" and still, there's gonna be one of y'all that gets a burr in their britches and accuses us of spreading lies. We have provided many avenues of entertainment to explore - which is very difficult given the fact that we live in Indian River county, a place that isn't exactly a mecca of new ideas and high falutin fun.

Now along the way we have met many interesting people, but something else exciting happened. We gained a lot of new friends that we've never met. Folks started to pick up on the goings on here and joined our little party. So today we thought it might be fun to show you a variety of new folks that have linked to Miss Vero's Beach House.
Miss Vero just sinks right into this blog, it's very soothing. We use it as a sorbet between the news and emails.
Not linked, but we like it just the same and are happy to see someone else from Vero in the blogsphere.
Who brought the cat?
Laughin and life, ahh, Shellberry...

And finally, we are very honored to be recently linked to the Palm Beach Post via the fabulous Mr. Jose Lambiet:

So sit back and enjoy the new offerings and we'll see if we can't scrounge up some new gossip for y'all tomorrow.


Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Like our friend, Max Newport, Miss Vero has also wondered just who and why folks say the things they do in response to the articles posted on the TCPalm. Many a time when Miss Vero would read the comments, our eyes would glaze over the random and often noxious additions, until we spied the name of LDouglas. We were so impressed with the passion, research skills and obvious intelligence of this person, that we started on a little quest to find them.

Was LDouglas a man? Certainly many times when someone would respond to an LDouglas comment they would start out by saying "Well, Mr. Douglas..." or "See here, Mr. Douglas..." or "In reference to your point, Mr. Douglas..." and most assumed that this person, who commented with such authority and grace, must indeed be a man!

But Miss Vero had another thought. Perhaps, with our mildly twisted sense of humor and encyclopedia knowledge of pop culture, we guessed that this person was using the name LDouglas in reference to Lisa Douglas of Green Acres fame. The fact that most of the topics that LDouglas commented so passionately about were environmentally based, had to be a clue.

As luck would have it, LDouglas was indeed a fan of the Beach House and after some friendly emails, we persuaded LDouglas to contribute anything that she would like to contribute on Miss Vero's site.

The question still remains- Is LDouglas her real name, or is it really the reference to Green Acres? Well hunnies, we never did find out and to tell y'all the truth we don't really care! We just love the whole idea of it and we hope y'all will love it too.

Here is the first post sent in by LDouglas, from a little corner in Indian River County we call Green Acres - enjoy!

Is Indian River County looking for Industry?

Look no further than your own backyard. The Wildlife Foundation of Florida along with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is putting together an initiative called the Florida Marine Fisheries Enhancement Initiative (FMEI). They aim to build 6 to 8 indoor or outdoor fish hatcheries as well as restore habitat for fish in the Indian River Lagoon and elsewhere in Florida. Plans are calling for facilities throughout the state to raise redfish, snook and seatrout to ensure the sustainability of the recreational fishing opportunities that made Florida the fishing capital of the world. I think IRC would be the perfect place for a hatchery and should step up and try to snag one of those facilities.

In case you didn't know, fishing isn't just a sport, it’s an industry. Texas and Louisiana have been so successful with their redfish stocking programs that redfishing has become a driving force of their economies. Fishing adds $8 billion to our economy in Florida and I think a fish hatchery in IRC would allow us to capture a bigger share of that money.

The initiative is a private/public partnership and they are actively looking for partners and sites. The cost for each site is expected to run somewhere between $8 and $10 million. I don't know if that includes the price of land or not but if so, we could probably save money by using land we already own. Like maybe the fish house in Sebastian, or even possibly the Environmental Learning Center. Or to dream big, the sewer plant in Vero. That property might be able to handle their design model for a full-scale mixed-use facility. The mixed use facility could include such things as a visitor’s center, boardwalks for ecosystem exploration, and research capabilities.

All of the Indian River Lagoon will be stocked regardless of where the hatcheries are located and they're worth supporting anywhere. But I think locating one here would not only give us an advantage of restoring habitat and repopulating the fish stocks sooner, it would be a great addition to our resume as an eco-tourist destination.

Now for the hard part. According to the FMEI's website, the funds will need to be raised “from industry, private donors, grants, governmental bodies, non-profits, academic and private fisheries research institutions, concerned citizens and other stakeholders”. FYI, stakeholders would mean restaurants, hotels, shops and other businesses that are supported in part by tourists. It also includes our county commissioners, economic business councils and chambers of commerce who are going to great lengths and expense to retain or attract what we have right in our own backyard- a viable industry that has yet to reach its full potential. Besides that, a sustainable fishing industry would be "green jobs" at their finest.

More information is available online here:

And here:

Sustainability: “meeting the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs.”

TTFN, LDouglas

We especially love that she signed it "TTFN" - "That's Ta Ta For Now", for all of y'all that didn't know!

Our little Beach House is certainly expanding and bringing out some talented folks that have some powerful messages. Too meaningful to be wasted on the comments site of the TCPalm, don't y'all think?



... that she was gonna live to be a hundred.

Of course we never did pay much attention to what that old woman babbled about and now she's gonna out live us all! Today Miss Vero has to cut into our cocktail hour, to retrieve her from some sort of medical facility where she's having some procedure and she's whining about how she's old and she won't be able to drive, cause her eyes will be all patched on account of the cataracts, whine, whine, whine. Honestly that old woman would drive us to drink, if we weren't already there!

And no, we are not in the least bit worried about her readin any of this. She thinks the internet is somethin y'all do with crochet hooks. One day we were driving along and she saw a sign that said SURVEY CREW and she asked us "Hmm, I wonder what kind of questions they're gonna ask?". Really, true stories, we could go on, but we have to go and pick up the old woman and let her stay with us till tomorrow! So if Miss Vero seems to have lost her mind y'all know why.


Monday, November 10, 2008


Max Newport

When I was just a little boy, yes just a little boy, I heard my Momma say to my sister, something about men not buying a cow when they can get the milk for free. And I said to her “Mom, who do, who do you think you’re foolin’? Nobody around here ain’t gonna buy no cow. Zoning laws don’t permit it and the good folks at Tripson’s Dairy leave milk at our front door every morning”. Yes, as a young boy, Max had a better grip on the zoning laws than he did on the facts of life and basic grammar.

When newspapers started putting their wares online, those words came back to me. This has to have some effect on the sales of the print edition since many subscribers will simply get their news on the internet rather than purchase a newspaper. From what I have been reading and seeing, newspapers are in trouble; everybody from the New York Times on down. I can’t help but think that free online editions are a contributing factor.

The Newports have religiously subscribed to the Press Journal for as long as I can remember. I subscribed while I was away at school so that I could see what was going on in my little town. That, of course, was long before the internet was even a gleam in Al Gore’s eye. There is something traditional about slapping on the bathrobe and waddling down the driveway each morning in my bare feet to harvest the printed treasure wrapped in a plastic bag. I have heard of quite a few people cancelling their subscription based upon a dislike for Russ Lemmon. The Newports will not do that. I feel that my paid subscription gives me a legitimate right to criticize. We don’t want to be like citizens that don’t vote but consistently criticize their elected officials.

The major problem is, by the time the paper is in my hands, it is old news. Most of the stuff was on one of the news networks the night before or on the internet. There’s really not too much news in the newspaper anymore. With the advent of 24 hour news channels, television now has the time to dig into a story to a depth that was once exclusive to the print media.

TCPALM - The Press Journal is quite brave to create their website and even braver to allow reader comments. That is like passing out black Sharpies to school kids as they walk into the restroom, and many of the comments so reflect. I visit the site on a near daily basis. I assume they are making money on advertising sales but to be totally honest, I cannot recollect a single advertiser on the webpage. Compare that to the power of the printed Jetson Appliance ads, usually in Saturday’s paper. Unfortunately, in order to compete, the website has taken on a tabloid persona. Just look at some of the most emailed and most commented on articles. A crack pipe found in an arrestee’s butt. A 210 pound woman “loitering for the purposes of prostitution” (Is that even a crime? Is the officer psychic?). Anyone Black or Hispanic getting shot or killed. A sex crime. Anything related to Denise Harvey.

Just look at all of the untapped talent that is just hanging out there on the internet for the Writers Guild to discover! I also submit that two of those stories don’t even qualify as “news”. Do you think that if the crack pipe were found in the woman’s shoe it would have been determined newsworthy?
It is frightening to think that these are the folks that go out and vote, sit on juries and yes, ladies and gentlemen, drive cars. Drive cars!!! Max is amazed that most of these people are able to figure out how to use a computer; they must have had some serious assistance from the “Geek Squad”. Jack Daniels may have had something to do with their postings. When the schools are out, the literacy level ascends to even a higher level. Yes, the Press Journal has provided a bathroom wall for all of the kiddies to write on.

Max must now admit that every now and then I must add to the mayhem, usually trying to change the tone or direction of the conversation. Since I do not rely on writing for my livelihood, Max is of course a pseudonym. I do however try to keep my comments to a level of sanity and literacy that I would post under my actual name. You do have to hand it to Guy Barber. He posts on virtually everything and he uses his real name. Atta boy, Guy.

I have to admit that Russ Lemmon brings out the best, or worst, of Max Newport’s highly refined sense of logic. Russ literally begs for people to recognize him as an idiot and I submit, for your consideration, that his ability to stumble over logic and facts is probably the main reason he is employed. If no one commented on his columns, I’m sure he would be doing something that did not involve writing. Controversy is good and it sells papers.

For those of you who think that Max singles out Mr. Lemmon for refined commentary, Ray McNulty can be an easy target as well.

Max was rather irritated that a Florida kid won college football’s highest honor as the first ever sophomore, and our local sports guy does nothing but rag on him. How is Colt Brennan doing in the pros? Anyone heard? Based upon one of the comments following mine, Max is convinced that the Press Journal permits the columnists to post their own rebuttal. Someone was awfully defensive there “Mr. Logan” and it does seem that Max struck a nerve.
Max Newport is an equal opportunity ranter.

With economic times being tough and perhaps getting tougher, the newspapers need to ask this basic question: “If it reaches the point where our subscribers have to choose, based upon their budgets, between the newspaper and the internet, which one will go first?” I imagine it would be the newspaper. What would you do?

If you say that you really, really prefer the newspaper over the internet, who do you think you’re fooling?

Now if any of y'all would like to comment on Max's article, just click the comments tab at the bottom. Or if y'all would like for Miss Vero to get a private message to Mr. Newport, y'all can just send it to our email.


Sunday, November 9, 2008


Here's a little Sunday treat...

Ok hunnies listen up, cause Miss Vero has a huge hunch, (never mind a reliable inside source and our own hound dawg research) that the Baltimore Orioles will not be comin to Vero Beach.

Why is Miss Vero interested in baseball, y'all are probably thinking. Well kids, as you do know, sports holds absolutely no fascination for Miss Vero what so ever, but the spending of tax dollars and the ineptitude of our politicians does!

Consider the chatter from other suitors as noted in the Baltimore Sun;

Fort Lauderdale, The Orioles current home - "We've met with the Orioles on several different occasions, and they haven't indicated to us that they want to be anywhere else, so that's good," said Chaz Adams, a spokesman for the city of Fort Lauderdale. "All the players are still on board. We're just hoping and trying as hard as we can to see if we could get the FAA to change its mind."

Sarasota, with a vacancy -"We're ready to talk to the Orioles about their [major league] spring training site if they are ready to talk to us," Sarasota County Deputy Administrator David Bullock said."

Fort Myers also chimes in - "However, this week, the Lee County commission approved an agreement with the Red Sox to build a new spring training facility in south Lee County. If the Red Sox approve the deal, that would leave their current facility at City of Palms Park needing a tenant. Fort Myers officials are reportedly interested in talking to the Orioles.",0,6169857.story

And more from the interestingly named sports journalist Mr. Peter Schmuck of the Baltimore Sun:

"News item: The Orioles still have not firmed up their plans for a permanent spring training site. They're expected to be in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., next spring but have made no commitment to train anywhere in 2010. The most likely location still appears to be the Dodgertown complex in Vero Beach, Fla. My take: In the most likely scenario, however, the Orioles will try to play Vero Beach off the soon-to-be-vacant complex in Sarasota, Fla., and end up without a permanent resolution to a situation that has been unsettled since - believe it or not - 1990. Bonus my take: Based on conversations with several people who have attempted it, negotiating with Peter and John Angelos is like trying to eat soup with a fork.",0,3815149.column

We can't imagine that our local big wigs will be able to negotiate this deal with the Angeloses, they're just not in the same league (pun intended)!

And of course, the fact that money talks. The Orioles are asking for up to $13 million of improvements to Holman Stadium and Dodgertown. While in comparison only $1.3 million is needed in Fort Lauderdale to satisfy the FAA fee. Now we ask y'all, which city has the deeper pockets?

In addition, there are the classic CYA statements made by Mayor White this week:

"We gave them our best and final offer I would think," said Vero Beach Mayor Tom White. I don't see how we can get involved in a bidding war because of finances. ...White said there are some people in Indian River County who want to see a team obtained for Dodgertown no matter what the cost... But I think the majority of working-class people don't want to see the city and county spend money on what they consider giveaways..."

Just remember kids, y'all heard it here first. Ain't gonna be no baseball no mo.

Now tomorrow, we'll be featuring our friend Max Newport in what looks likely to be our new weekly feature -


And there's even more surprises this week, when we introduce another Beach House guest-

LDouglas, from a little corner we call GREEN ACRES!

Tell everybody y'all know, e mail all your friends, there's a party at the Beach House and y'all are invited!


Friday, November 7, 2008


Livin in Vero Beach is like livin in East Berlin before they took down that big ole wall. Yup, hard to believe kids, but Miss Vero was actually once in East Berlin at that time, so we know what we're talkin about. When we were driving home Tuesday night after the election was called, there weren't a sole on the streets. If y'all listened real close, y'all could have heard the audible groans and cuss words rising up out all the Republican homes. While the rest of the country and the world, for that matter were jumpin for joy, Indian River County stayed in behind it's conservative curtain.

Now y'all would think that winning a local election would be good enough for some folks, but no, that ain't the case with Miss Kay Clem. She decided to file a complaint against her opponent Mr. Colman Stewart. Why? Dunno, we guess it's like that joke our ole friend George Wallace used to tell - the best time to kick a man is when he's down, cause he's already right there by your shoe!

It's pretty clear that Miss Clem had it out for Mr. Stewart, especially when he started callin her out on all the "discrepancies" in her office. So, not to be outdone, she was successful in digging up some "damaging information" on him. And that kids, is what Miss Vero would really like to know. How does someone, who's running for an office (that should definitely be bi-partisan) in a county (that's definitely partisan) find out about their opponents indiscretions? Do you hire an investigator? A seasoned political strategist or maybe a company that specializes in the Tao of Rove? Shouldn't that job belong to a "newspaper" with "real journalists" that would look into each candidates claims? Oh wait a minute, what are we thinkin?

Well hunnies, today let Miss Vero tell y'all a story about an interesting, yet mysterious woman named Jackie.

Miss Jackie is a very passionate woman who has dedicated herself to many political causes, that she whole heatedly believes in, here's just a little sample of how busy Miss Jackie is:

Like the saving our waterfronts in Indian River and St. Lucie counties:
Where she lists her address at 745 Bougainvillea Lane Vero Beach, FL 32963.

And her interest in the early voting procedure of the town of Jupiter ( see page 5):
Where her address at that time was "withheld pursuant to Florida Statute".

And in punishing people who don't share her beliefs in Orlando: Jacqueline D'Heere (561)756-6480. Paid political advertisement paid for and sponsored by 4853 South Orange Avenue, Suite C, Orlando

And she's also listed as a contact in Southwest Florida for Florida "Family" policy:
South West Region (Charlotte, Collier, Desoto, Glades, Hardee, Hendry, Highlands, Lee, Manatee, Sarasota) Jacqueline D'Heere 561-716-4384

And, as the Program Chair of the Contemporary Federated Republican Women's Club of Boca Raton:

And also, as the sole person owing South Coast Consulting in Boca and Pachyderm Communications. (Pachyderm as in G.O.P.? How cute!) also in Boca:

Yup, Miss Jacqueline D'Heere is a very busy young lady, but where would someone who is only 23 years old, learn all about the political process and become so well connected?

Well, what if you were to inherit a fortune, but weren't going to be able to receive it for sometime. Do y'all think that some caring and loving family might take you in? Yes? Well that's exactly what happened to Miss Jackie! She was taken in by the lovely McCarty family, who took poor little Miss Jackie in and tutored her in everythin Republican! Now we're just sure that they had her best interests at heart and that ole money didn't mean a thing!

We wish that was the end of the story, but hunnies it was only the beginning! Things didn't turn out so well with Miss Jackie and her new "family". Something real bad musta went down, because Miss Jackie decided to turn her "adopted mother", Palm Beach county Commissioner Mary McCarty into the FBI! :
Oh my.

Ok hunnies, are y'all still with us? Cause here's the good part. There is a happy ending to the story of Miss Jackie after all. After she ratted out her corrupt Republican family, she found a home with a new "adopted mother" and a good Republican family, right here in Vero Beach! And Miss Vero, as we're sure all of y'all do, hope that this family takes exceptional care of her. Yes, Miss Jackie now resides at 1855 34th Ave., which just happens to be the home of Miss Carole Jean Jordan! (Really, y'all can look it up in the phone book!)

It's also the address that she used for her expense reports, so that Miss Kay Clem knew where to send the $14, 000.00+ in fees and expenses, since May 2008, for "consulting":

Thank goodness she found a job in Vero and Miss Jackie must be very good at what she does, because Miss Clem had already paid Idea Garden $3,610.98 for consulting and web support.

And the Press Journal, didn't they have any interest in Miss Clem's expenses? Maybe they were too busy collecting the $ 12,138.55 for advertising to notice.

Hmm, y'all know why Miss Vero's favorite subject was math? 'Cause numbers don't lie!



Now before y'all go tear each other to shreds, let's just all agree on three things.

#1 That, had not Mr. Stewart posed a genuine threat to Miss Clem's position and cushy six figure job by methodically detailing and bringing to light legitimate faults of her office, Miss Clem would never have to had rely on Republican cronies and high priced dirt diggers to save her piece of the pie.

#2 That, had been Mr. Stewart been honest about his finances and business losses, he would have been able to save the reputation of the legitimate candidacy that he had successfully built up until that point.

#3 AND MOST IMPORTANT. If the Press Journal had done their job as a news reporting organization and had thoroughly researched and presented the triumphs and failures of both candidates in an unbiased manner, we all won't be scratching each others eyes out over this. How nice would it have been, to have been able to make an informed decision.

Miss Vero is not suggesting anything other than for everyone to do their job. Honestly.


Thursday, November 6, 2008


Here's that big ole steaming plate o'gossip that y'all are cravin!

Ok, we hear - and this could be someone just pullin our leg - that Dockside Grill had them a little robbery last Saturday night. The story goes that after closing time some employees were sittin at the bar, as restaurant employees do, when two men came in and introduced themselves as the new cleaning crew. These two men then commenced to do some cleaning starting in the office with the safe. After they cleaned it out real good, they told the folks at the bar (one of which we hear was a manager ) that they were going out for cigarettes and would be right back. After about an hour, the manager realized what had happened and called the po-po.

Now Miss Vero asks y'all, is it true? And if so, could it have been an inside job? We hear Bobby is planning on pulling out of Dockside, but we don't put any stock in it because there are just so many rumors about Bobby's these days, we don't know what to believe. We also heard that Bobby's mama sold the building where the original Bobby's is at and the rent is gonna go sky high, that's why Dockside was opened. Well hunnies, who knows?

We also hear, that Ti Amo Sempre is on the move again and that the new landlord will be none other than Mr. Tom Collins of Captain Hiram's fame who just bought Monte's and Rip's old site. We hear Ti Amo will be moving in there later this year.

Another Italian restaurant opening up in town, but y'all probably already know this - it will be at the old Patio site. Lawdy, just what we need another Italian restaurant. We sure do miss the Patio. and we sure will miss the antiques and artifacts that once decorated the old place. Regarding that, we also hear that after the sudden closure, some of said items somehow were "misplaced" and will probably not find their way home. Sad.

Now remember, if y'all want to find real restaurant info quick, don't forget the little green box up on the right side. If y'all haven't checked it out lately, check it again, there's some new stuff or just click this:

And if y'all's nerves are still frayed from the election, here's a little sumthin to sip on:


Wednesday, November 5, 2008


Local Dems Neil Arbarbanell, Colman Stewart and Cathy Hart celebrate a good run, even after hearing the news that the Greedy Ole Party still controls Indian River County. Dr. Arbarbanell, as a Democrat, managed to pick up 35% of the vote against Mrs. Mayfield, who inherited the seat with a blessing from the G.O.P. After that impressive showing, we have a good feeling that the good Doctor will return again to make a "house call".

Why did John McCain lose? Could it be that the "Real America" (as Sarah Palin put it) is really just a bunch of old, tired, set in their way, intolerant, pasty people?

Sometimes staying the course is not such a good idea.

Or maybe, he just picked the wrong Palin.


Tuesday, November 4, 2008


Yesterday, our friend Mr. Max Newport, who described himself as "...somewhat conservative and a Republican" graciously gave us his thoughts and predictions for today's election. Well buckle up today kids, cause Miss Vero will be takin y'all on a little trip to Liberal Land!

Miss Vero's Predictions and More! (mostly More!)

Let's start at the top, the race for President. This race might turn out to be closer than we think. Our first prediction is that there will be election discrepancies, although we sincerely hope none as monumental as in 2000.

Mr. Obama has been steady and cool throughout his campaign and will "hopefully" win. Most folks who have taken their blinders off are a little tired of the current regime of the Greedy Ole Party and wished they could have put the brakes on this train before it became the embarrassing wreck that it is.

It is sad to see the one time independent and respected Mr. McCain turn into a pandering, feisty ole gramps character. We believe his downfall began with his ill advised choice of running mate who definitely put the "ick" in his maverick.

This election really got everyone motivated. Finally. And there sure are a lot of passionate people out there, some in a good way, some not so good. Take, for example, our own little county. The TCPalm has a video showing a group of folks enthusiastically cloggin up the intersection of 58th and 60 this past weekend, which Miss Vero happened to pass through on our way to purchase alkeehol and other supplies.

Here is a photo of the hate fest of rumor mongers, that somehow didn't make the little TCPalm video:

So here's the thing, the crazy Christians - and y'all know who you are - need to knock off the very un-Christian way of hating anyone that doesn't agree with you. We are pretty darn sure that Mr. Obama is not a Muslim, but even if he were, he would have just as much right to be president.

According to the United States Constitution;
Section 1 of Article 2 states that a President must:
Be a natural born citizen of the United States.
Be at least 35 years old.
Have lived in the U.S. for at least 14 years.

Nothing about gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, so that means that Jews, Atheists, Homosexuals, Scientologists, Women, Lesbian woman, Transvestites, Hindus and yes even a Muslim could be President! Hard to imagine since we all just hate those Muslims so much! Maybe even a little more than we used to hate those Japanese who bombed us, so we rounded them all up and put then in confinement camps, till it was safe to let them out. Now they sell us really great SONY products.

Not all Muslims are bad, not all Christians are good.

Another fine example of the hate fest is amendment #2, y'all know that bull about protectin marriage, which by the way, doesn't need any protection? This is just a hateful agenda to deny people basic human rights.

Why is it, that any heterosexual person can run off to Las Vegas, pick up a stranger in a bar and within a few hours be married and have every right associated with that contract, but two people of the same sex who live together for decades are denied a civil union? Marriage is a contract between two people. Period. If y'all want to add some magical, your God approved, happily ever after addendum to that contract, fine. But don't deny other people the right to be as happy or as miserable as y'all are.
Let's hope that Mr. Charlie Wilson who lined himself up with conservative values and unfairly labelled and attacked Miss Claudia Jimenez in the race for School Board, will not be celebrating his victory tomorrow. Let's also take a moment to remember the success of conservative abstinence programs:

Of course the Republicans in Indian River County will have a lot to celebrate. It's not even worth mentioning the County Commission race, which was pretty much settled in the primary election. But we gotta say, watchin ole Gary Wheeler try to get behind Brian Heady is like watchin somebody tryin to tame a squirrel.

As far as the City of Vero goes, we believe young Mr. Kevin Sawnick is well on his way to grabbin a seat and Mayor Tom White might not make it this time around. Especially since the top story on the VeroBeach32963 web site for the past month is an announcement of Mayor White's demise. And what's with VB32963's site anyway? We had hoped for a little more web presence by now and not the random infrequent offerings that have left us disappointed. Also, we would like to see the online edition updated. More VB32963, please.

Our one prediction to watch out for - After Mrs. Mayfeild receives her compensation package, um, we mean wins the State representative race, look for an early exit. Perhaps "personal" reasons will require that she step down and who better to come to the rescue than good ole Charlie Sembler.

And of course, no local election comments would be complete without the mentioning the Miss Kay Clem and Mr. Coleman Stewart race for Supervisor of Elections.

Here's the big question - Who gets the Pulitzer Prize for investigative journalism? That's right, who at the PJ was savy enough to dig up those records of Mr. Stewart for Miss Clem to air out on her clothes line? Since nobody at the PJ is claimin any credit, how much did it cost to hire the investigator (and where did the money come from) to put together that package? Now, Miss Vero is not sayin that Mr. Stewart's financial records are not somethin to be concerned about, but given that, should we also not be concerned with the many discrepancies of Miss Clem's record in office and the win at all costs way that her campaign was conducted? And somebody please kill that rumor right now that Miss Vero is dating someone from Mr. Stewart's campaign just because we supported this candidate.

The only thing that we really care about concerning the Supervisor of Elections is that they don't screw up the voting process. Again.

And finally...
The biggest question of all - Where's the party? Any election parties that Miss Vero should know about? And yes, we know we'll have to crash it, since we've just succeed in thoroughly annoying 90% of the population of Indian River County. Oh well...


P.S. Y'all will notice that we took down ole Rhett Palmer's video on election day and replaced it with the NYT crossword puzzle. Dr. John said if he could get a crossword puzzle online, he'd cancel his subscribtion to the PJ and as always, we're happy to help!