Friday, April 3, 2009


A new restaurant has opened in the 32963 area code, attention to detail and kiss your arse service is offered along with fine French cuisine and two for one $1.99 Grey Goose martinis!


Just like the way I go looking for love in all the wrong places, 32963 went looking for food in all the wrong places. I was quite angry after the write up in 32963 about the Undertow. Mainly because Undertow as Miss Vero says “is the Epicenter of Cool”.

I called Miss Vero, "They serve food at undertow? she asked, "Who knew?" She then calmed me down and told me not to worry. But I was still mad.

The food in Undertow is merely the cherry on the top. If you wanted a wait staff in tuxes and dresses then clearly you should just have stayed on your side.


If you want to go to a place where you’re escorted on top of the tables to dance to “spirit in the sky” - GO.

If you want to see a prominent lawyer pop out his fake eyeball, throw it in his martini and exclaim, “ This tastes fantastic!” - GO.

If you want Miss Vero to turn to you and say, “ My high heels would look so much better on you, and watch her walk home barefoot.” - forgodsakes! GO!

And all this really happened, just last week! I don’t know if I can say enough good things about Undertow - not only the ambiance, but the people that surround you, range from politicos, famous artists, authors, up and coming musicians. Yes, the wait staff might be a little “indifferent” as they put it, but they’re the best part of Undertow!

I’m sure you probably think everybody walking in Vero are homeless scoundrels too. Although the entire article is titled Undertow: struggling against the current - Undertow is LEAST of the restaurants to have been hit by the economy which is something that Kitty Wagner should definitely pride herself on. So all in all if I can offer a suggestion, keep your presence at the Chop House, seems more your style (consistent and all).

Is that mean??

Miss Vero lets me vent, I feel better now.

Love and Hugs,


Jethro Bovine said...

Miss Viv,

You tell 'em 'bout it! Undertow IS the "epicenter of cool" NOT the epicenter of snooty! We patronize Undertow for the ambiance and fun. We specifically avoid the beachie snoot-coups because they have no soul. I, for one, do not want my arse kissed by a waiter/waitress.

I want waitstaff that knows the details of their fare and their wines. I don't want my 'shine glass to get empty. Undertow waitstaff may not be fawning, but they always keep me happy.

I will go for fawning when I get too old for funning.


BlessUrHeart said...

Ya gotta remember that it's 32963 - c'mon! Could it be that Undertow is competing with their ad-paying customers? They know from nothing! Cheap shots at a great place, I guess we know where they are coming from now. D'ya think maybe they'll do an honest review of the places that pay for advertising?? ha . . . ha . . . ha.

Lola said...

Good thing Miss Vero didn't decide her blouse would look better on you Miss Viv or she might of walked home topless.
"They" may not have mistaken her for being homeless- just a scoundrel. Or is it a scoundress?
:-* :-*

Anonymous said...

Actually, 32963 only has a couple of restaurant ads -- and they have reviewed a couple dozen restaurants -- and they just recently trashed the new steakhouse on the beach, M-T (don't sound it out) chop house. So I think it a bit unfair to suggest that their reviews are bought and paid for, though I do think they were a little harsh on the Epicenter of Cool (but let's face it, the food is not the thing).

BlessUrHeart said...

When I see less biased reporting from 32963, and an unbiased review of one of their money sources, I'll rethink my opinion. So far, no dice. And if a restaurant is in trouble, as they all are right now, to go in and kick them is ridiculous, and useless.

Anonymous said...

So BlessUrHeart, which of the restaurants that advertise in 32963 would you like to see them trash to enhance their credibility with you?

BlessUrHeart said...

How interesting - I said "unbiased" and you say "trash." My guess is "anonymous" happens to work for 32963. I stand by "unbiased." But Miss Vero said it so much better.

Ain't this fun, Miss V? Don'tcha just love getting under the competition's dander?