Wednesday, April 1, 2009

VIVENNE VON VOOT

Now just who is Miss Vero and WHO are the people that write for her and how did they get so lucky to interact with such a ghostly figure? Easy, we’re all on the school board together. Or is it the clan of County Commissioners? Possibly the lunch bunch who dine in fine restaurants and sit in the “buckets of blood” room sipping on unusually strong Vodka drinks before 11 am? I’ll tell you what I know…


Max has two part time jobs, one which he takes very seriously. He’s the coffee pourer for the oversized coffee cup on Rhett Palmer’s billboard near the Ft Pierce - Vero line. He extended his coffee skills and empire to be the official greeter at Russ Lemmon’s booth at Bob Evans. Both he’s been aspiring to do since a young age.


LDouglas is clearly a gas guzzling Republican - don’t let her environmental posts fool you, I witnessed her throwing a wad of lotto tickets and McDonald’s wrappers out of her hummer in the big lots parking lot with a dog tied to the bumper (Clark Griswold style). She is infamous for taking her RV to the nearest 7-11 and dumping the remnants of the “john” in the Big Gulp machine. Some even say the character "Uncle Eddie" from National Lampoon was based upon her. LDouglas, you're filthy.


Miss Vero is actually a rather sad story. She tried out for the Junior League multiple times and after jumping through hoops and doing numerous Michael Jackson “Thriller” impressions she was denied because of the questionable growth on her face and un-kept eye brows. With a chip on her shoulder, she formed this website and vowed to hold Vero Beach hostage. If you look closely you can spot her at almost any venue in Vero Beach - dancing with her top half off, as if she were front row at a Bruce Springstein concert. She’s not married and never plans to be - yet she’s the mother of 7 (all from different fathers) and seems to have inherited quite a bit of money because of her ex step-father’s uncle’s sister’s multi-colored post- it business.

3 comments:

LDouglas said...

You know it must be April Fools Day to see the day's blog up at this hour.

Miss Viv, what a hoot! I'm still laughing. Yeah, I always laugh when I get nervous and well, finding the truth about me is out makes me nervous.

If you haven't chosen a career yet, you would make a good psychic and tarot card reader. I'd pay for your services...

More tea! More tea!

Viv said...

miss vero, you are a mad hatter - up at all hours of the night!

BlessUrHeart said...

Miz Ver-oh, you have quite the whacky crowd -- again, very well presented, this April 1!!! You are the best.

I hope y'all heard the NPR letters to the editor on All Things Considered today. Whale farming. I about bust a vein.