Thursday, June 12, 2008


Miss Vero could not attend the Taxpayers Association of Indian River County luncheon at Coppertops yesterday, because we feared we would be overcome with extreme boredom. So we thought it would be fun to send someone in our place, someone we call the "Secret Squirrel". The great thing is that the Squirrel has no interest or affiliation with anyone in Indian River County and can make completely unbiased observations and judgements. We asked the Squirrel to give us an impression of the following four speakers who are District 5 candidates for the Indian River County Commission:

"Although my first impression was that this guy seemed like some sort of 'Ernest T. Bass', he quickly transcended his quirkiness and my republican mind heard a speaker who was extremely reasonable. I was ultimately surprised with the substance of his oratory."

"This woman is obviously very impressed with herself and was not shy about reminding us of her citrus fortune. She attempted some kind of visual presentation with maps and 'Fellsmere' kept falling off, does that mean anything?"

"Wow, pompous. I kept waiting for him to jump up and sing- 'Anything you can do I can do better."

"She seems ambitious, calculating every one of her steps. Probably a very bright person but seems like more of the same. It's like she's trying to pledge to the popular sorority and badly wants to be part of the group that already exists."

"The one thing they all have in common is that no one had an definitive answer to the economic development question."

So kids, there y'all have it, an unbiased first impression of some local politicians. Just for the record, Miss Vero has never met any of these people, but trusts the Squirrel's judgement. We like the idea of the Squirrel going about and collecting political information, like little nuts, for us. The Squirrel might be a big help 'cause Miss Vero usually bases her local political decisions on the best performance in the Sebastian fourth of July parade.

Miss Vero honestly doesn't care about all the bickering and political positioning, the only party we're investing in is THE COCKTAIL PARTY!

That being said, today's cocktail glass is raised to the Secret Squirrel and to a new friend who understands the value of anonymity...


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