Thursday, December 4, 2008


The eve before thanksgiving, my temperate friend Miss Vero, gave the Count and I tickets to the production of “Souvenir” at the Riverside Theatre. The Count was thrilled to have a chance to don his royal vestments and have Paco, our driver, shake off the mothballs on the Bentley Mark VI, which he bought after the Great War. Moi was thrilled to see the Count in something other than his sarong.

For those not involved with the arts and theatre, the story line involves one Florence Foster Jenkins, a New York Socialite during the turn of the century and self styled Diva. Ah great wealth, is there nothing it can not procure? Her gift was “purity of tone,” though the play’s intent is to portray this diosonne of the arts as tone deaf, screechy voiced and utterly lacking rhythm or tempo. Actually, this great lady was known to my mothers late school chum, Lady Ethel Picklesworth-Bottoms, of the Lancaster Bottoms and let me tell you, Madame Flo Jenkins was the toast of New York! Superbly played by Elizabeth Dimon, the essence that was Madame Flo was captured through Ms. Dimon’s beautifully cultured voice and elegant diction on stage. Several times during this performance, I had to remind the Count that the vision on the stage was not real. We almost had a row during the second act, when Ms. Dimon appeared in the utterly charming flamenco outfit. He was enchanted with her performance of Madame Flo. His loss of Perch and Danny has affected him worse than imagined.

Of course singing is just a voice and a voice needs a great musician to elevate it to genius. Tom Kenaston, portrayed Flo’s pianist, Cosme McMoon. What a clever gentleman! His performance whisked me back to New York in the early twentieth-century when the new sound of jazz first spread across America, leaving delight and controversy in its wake. However, one wonders why his character was so conflicted with Flo’s talent! He questioned, more than once, Madame’s utter certainty that she was a great artist, wondering out loud whether it was “madness or mere delusion on her part.” Mr. Kenaston verbalized the opinion of the time, which considered Madame Flo was an amusing oddity. Nevertheless, through her noblesse oblige, skeptics were silenced and laughter softened.

Above and beyond the performance, myself and the Count were thrilled to be made aware of another person of royal birth in the Vero area. The Riverside Theater boasts 2 box seats, one being donated by Duke Habernickle! Tres magnifique! It is our hope that the Duke is one of the Bratislava Doven- Habernickle’s, to whom the Count is a distant cousin.. While we endeavor to include friends and acquaintances from all social strata in our lifestyle, it is comforting to unwind with others of “the manor born,” who understand the unique problems and responsibilities inherent with great wealth. We hope to have invitations and formal introductions extended in the near future.

Miss Vero, I extend heartfelt thanks for our evening of theatre. It was profoundly generous of you, though dear, it does not excuse yours’ and B’s absconding of an entire case Veuve-Clicquot and subsequent breaking of my sainted mothers’ cut glass ice bucket, given to her by Wallis Simpson.,_Duchess_of_Windsor

Most Sincerely Yours,

The Royal Countess DuRosland

Kids, if y'all have nothing to do this weekend, we suggest getting yourselves a ticket to this delightful musical over at the Riverside Theater. It's only running until Sunday, December 7th, so we y'all need to skidaddle!



LDouglas said...

Countess Dahling,
It's been so long since I've been out of Hooterville, I've quite forgotten the pleasures of the theatre. Thank you for sharing. Perhaps if you should ever come to visit here, you could plan it for our social event of the year- The Carpenters Ball.

Ta ta,

Oh, and please bring the Count. We could use a little rumba to shake things up.

Anonymous said...

Run – don’t walk – to Sally’s Beauty Supply in the Miracle Mile shopping center and pick up a “Ped Egg” pedicure thingy while supplies last!

If you’re feeling the squeeze of the economy, cutting corners wherever you can, you no longer have to walk around with mangy feet. In just a matter of minutes, this little gadget gave me a better-than-any-spa pedicure (the kind I’ve only gotten in China Town in NYC, where they literally shave swaths of callous off your feet), and it only costs 10 bucks. And… it’s reusable!

Now, if you’re not feeling the pinch on your wallet, by all means continue your once a month sessions with your favorite pedicurist. For heaven’s sake, I don’t want to take food out of anyone’s mouth. Lean back, flip through the pages of your favorite Angelina-Jennifer-Suri-Madonna magazine and let someone else deal with the cuticles, hang nails, bunions and dry, scaly padding we develop on our toes and heels. And while you’re at it, count your blessings.

But for the rest of us, it’s so nice not to have to spend $30 at the salon just to wear a pair of flip flops to Publix (by the way, the Publix on 12th Street is quite a singles market). With the holidays upon us, who’s got an extra $30?

After my morning fling with the Ped Egg, I moisturized, painted my toenails, then slipped my tootsies into the cutest little sandals from last season. Maybe I’ll even take the money I saved and treat myself to “Souvenir” at Riverside Theater!

- The High Heel Hedonist

Max Newport said...

Riverside consistently offers top quality productions at a reasonable price. A few years back, Mrs. Newport and I saw "Kiss Me Kate" at Riverside then saw it a few days later on Broadway.

Both productions were excellent. The only difference was that the seats at Riverside were much more comfortable. Since we got our Broadway tickets at TKTS, the price was about the same. But tickets at the box office were about double the cost at Riverside.

Riverside is a real gold mine if you want a Broadway quality show in Vero Beach. I have never been disappointed and we have seen about 60 shows in the Big Apple.

Thanks for the great review and I would be inclined to go but there is too much great football on this weekend.