Alluding to Mr. Lemmon's column yesterday, Miss Vero does not give a flying rat who becomes the Indian River County Sheriff, but we'll tell y'all who we like - Bill McMullen. Why? 'cause he's cute and single and we can make him blush. That's right, Miss Vero has slipped her arm around that man and made him blush (although Captain McMullen will certainly not remember Miss Vero). Hunney, if this contest were to be had on looks alone, that bubba would win in a heartbeat and just so y'all know, his pictures don't do him justice.
Did we mention he's single? Sorry to spill the beans and maybe some of the more conservative folks don't like that, but Miss Vero sees this as a big plus. A HUGE plus. Who wants a sheriff with a wifey and kids hanging all over him? No sir, a virile, hungry, single man with no curfew, is who I want protecting my assets.
Speaking of huge, it would be a whole lot different than the old days when a very enormous Sheriff Wheeler owned the Tasty-O donut shop. Remember that? Miss Vero does. At least you knew where he was. These days the only time we see the current Sheriff Roy out and about is when he's having dinner with Pastor Buddy Tipton mixing up some faith and politics. Yee Haw and deliver us from Podunkville! Oh children, Miss Vero better mind her manners. We are not afraid of going to Hades, but we are sure nuf afraid of incarceration!
A QUESTION FOR Y'ALL DOWN IN PSL
When you voted for a judge a few years back and there were campaign signs all around saying:
How did you not double over laughing and crash your car? Now I know there's a lot of y'all from the New York area that get this. When Miss Vero called her Carmella Soprano Cousin in New Jersey and told her that there was a sign in PSL that said "Vote Yacucci", our cousin said "I always do."
Then when Miss Vero explained that this was the name of an actual candidate, Ms. Soprano spit her juicy fruit across the room. Miss Vero's cousin finally begged for mercy when we told her his first name - Phillip. That's right, Phillip Yacucci.
Seriously, all true, we just can't make this up. If-in for some reason you don't understand this story, email miss Vero and we'll explain it sugar.
Y'all know what time it is? That's right, time to cocktail it outa here.