Today, in honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Miss Vero brings y'all the tale of a Miss B. Haviors Tata's and the shameful way that the help is treated by clueless elitists. We present this story at the risk of never being allowed to be in the Royal presence of the du Roselands again!No matter, we're sure, in our very "Red" county, that they'll just "import" their help, as do the principles of Windsor and the exclusives at the Red Stick club. Of course there is always a risk of importing a TB scare, like that one time, but oh well! It's sooo much better than creating minimum wage jobs for the locals who would probably embarrass us or expose our secrets....
Oh, sorry y'all, Miss Vero digresses, 'nother story, 'nother day, where were we?
Oh, sorry y'all, Miss Vero digresses, 'nother story, 'nother day, where were we?
Ah yes, the tale of Miss B. Havior's Tatas...
"It’s my favorite time of the year, ya’ll. Not only do we getta’dress up like heathens n’ ho’s on Halloween, it is National TaTa Awareness Month! Ya’ll should know, that I’ve always thought my TaTa’s had special powers. All I had ta’ do was point ‘em in the right direction and stand up straight and POW! Men became mesmerized and women cowered. These TaTa’s got some heavy mojo and I’d like to keep ‘em.
Regretfully, the du Roselands don’t provide me with health insurance. I know ya’ll are thinkin’ I should just point these majestic TaTa’s at the du Roseland’s and make them do my bidding.. But hunnies (as Miss Vero would say) that pair are as blind as bats, reeking of gin.
But I just gotta’ have one of those “Mammy-grams,” so I made me some phone calls. Not being a shy and retiring southern belle, I also asked for an appointment and a discount, ‘cause it’s TaTa awareness month! This is what I found out…..
Indian River Medical Center - doesn’t “do” um.
Sebastian River Medical Center - does ‘em, but no one seems to know if there is a discount (or either the regular cash price). I’ll let ya’ll know if I get a return call from ‘em.
Indian River Radiology- doesn’t “do” um.
Vero Radiology Associates – does ‘em. Every year they offer a discount in October. $149.00 (reduced from $210.00)
Sebastian Radiology Associates – does ‘em. They’re the new kids on the block. Their price is $50.00! Jumpin’ Jehosephat! I now know who’s squeezing the TaTa’s tomorrow."
Regretfully, the du Roselands don’t provide me with health insurance. I know ya’ll are thinkin’ I should just point these majestic TaTa’s at the du Roseland’s and make them do my bidding.. But hunnies (as Miss Vero would say) that pair are as blind as bats, reeking of gin.
But I just gotta’ have one of those “Mammy-grams,” so I made me some phone calls. Not being a shy and retiring southern belle, I also asked for an appointment and a discount, ‘cause it’s TaTa awareness month! This is what I found out…..
Indian River Medical Center - doesn’t “do” um.
Sebastian River Medical Center - does ‘em, but no one seems to know if there is a discount (or either the regular cash price). I’ll let ya’ll know if I get a return call from ‘em.
Indian River Radiology- doesn’t “do” um.
Vero Radiology Associates – does ‘em. Every year they offer a discount in October. $149.00 (reduced from $210.00)
Sebastian Radiology Associates – does ‘em. They’re the new kids on the block. Their price is $50.00! Jumpin’ Jehosephat! I now know who’s squeezing the TaTa’s tomorrow."
Just called them to verify, yup! $50 bucks or $25 each dependin how y'all look at it!
And a one final thought...
And now to get the flow of testosterone back for all of our manly man Beach House readers, would law enforcement and big trucks do the trick? We thought so hunnies, here's a picture that Miss Vero just had to snap the other day that seems perfect for the occasion. Looks like potential Indian River County Sheriff Mr. Loar, certainly has some friends in high places!
Here's to hoping that Mr. Loar is as good a sport as our previous favorite bubba for Sheriff, Captain Bill McMullen and that he doesn't mind being featured in the company of some Boobies and Tatas!
MWAH!
