Thursday, September 4, 2008


Russ Lemmon Searches For His Next Big Story

Today's offering from Mr. Lemmon -

"Wanted:Red Cross Volunteers"

What's that ? Might be a hurricane a comin? DUH! Welcome to Florida. Thank y'all so much for this public service "opinion". Now that the primaries are over, looks like Mr. Lemmon has finished slingin his Bob Evans hash.

Diana Foote searches for a new word in the dictionary to impress us

Today's offering from Miss Foote -

"With a flourish, our waitstaff discreetly informed us of the arrival of the Maine lobsters and I ordered my pound-and-a-half ($26.99) with alacrity. It arrived properly steamed and still steaming, the optimum moment to begin cracking the claws and walking legs, and sucking the tender, ambrosial meat."

Can y'all guess which restaurant she's talkin about? Jack Baker's Lobster Shanty! We'll give y'all a minute to stop laughing before we continue....


Where is the report of Mr. Colman Stewart's press conference?

Mr. Stewart informs us that -

"A total of 6 candidates, in 3 different races, were missing from the ballot in the recently certified primary election."

This is serious news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is Miss Vero the only person in this county concerned with this issue? Kids, we sent our posse in and here's what what we know -

There was a dismal turnout of our "elected" officials to hear Mr. Stewart speak. Joe Flescher (not running for office this year) was the only County Commissioner that stayed throughout the press conference, although he seemed to be "visitin" with folks more than payin attention.

Wesley Davis showed up late, talked on his cell phone outside and then stayed for about all of three minutes. Somebody ought a tell that bubba that large horizontal striped shirts are not a good fashion choice for him. Oh. Never mind we just did.

Miss Bea Gardner and Miss Cathy Hart listened attentively. A representative from Captain Bill McMullen's office was also payin attention, while Duurrrrll Loar was spotted outside parkin his Jeep, but no where near the press conference.

And the PJ? Y'all think that maybe they'd be on hand to cover a story about a candidate they endorse? Nope.

Will there be any follow up? Dunno.

Must self medicate heavily today, martinis intravenously we think.



BlessUrHeart said...

Price of PJ - 2 cents.

Price of bad journalism - negative millions.

Price of lemmon pictures - PRICELESS!


And btw, I meant to leave this gem behind for miss foote-in-her-mouth about her encouraging people to ILLEGALLY] eat land crabs:

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has passed a rule to limit the take of blue land crabs:

68B-54.002 Statewide Open and Closed Seasons for Harvesting Blue Land Crabs.

(1) Blue Land Crabs shall only be harvested during the open season, which is from November 1 of each year through June 30 of the following year.

(2) No person shall harvest, attempt to harvest, or possess any blue land crab during the period beginning on July 1 and continuing through October 31 of each year.

Bag Limit - No person shall harvest in any one day or possess at any time more than 20 blue land crabs."

Maybe they'll start serving them at Jack Blech-ers.

Anonymous said...

Put the cuffs on me. My car "harvested" three or four of those suckers while I was backing out the driveway this morning.

BlessUrHeart said...

OK, give us the make and model and we'll arrest your car for vehicular crab-slaughter.

Anonymous said...

The PJ did have a reporter there. Perhaps the veneer of "we were there but you didn't see us" is starting to wear thin.

If you want to continue posting your little blog in obscurity, you may want to be a bit more careful. People are figuring it out.

Miss Vero said...

Really? Great!
Where's the story?

And thank y'all for readin my "little blog"

Miss Vero said...

Really? Great!
Where's the story?

And thank y'all for readin my "little blog"

Anonymous said...

Figuring what out??????????????

Anonymous said...

Lemmon droppings and smelly Foote will figure out who Miss Vero is and expose her true identity.

Truth be told I think Russ Lemmon would love to know who Miss Vero is so he finally has something of value to report to the PJ's readers.

BlessUrHeart said...

How funny, Miss V! Those speaking for the PJ [anonymously, so here's the pot calling the kettle . . . anonymous] sound a tiny bit peeved, non? I talked to others who were there, and guess what, they didn't see the PJ persons [reporters? opinion columnists? Feete?] either.

So they are going with the gambit of "we were there but we did nothing." Hmmm, I think we are figuring out who they are. This "little blog" is a whole lot more interesting than their traffic accident reports.

I don't think they know the meaning of the word "thin," unless it means the size of their newspaper. "Wafer thin!"

Anonymous said...

I always thought Miss Vero was Miss Vero. Please don't tell me it ain't so. Lol

I've been trying to be nice and not laugh at Miss Vero's affection of the day, but todays was too funny. That picture representing Ms. Foote was so darn cute- it actually endears me more to her.
(And I did need a minute to stop laughing. Hopefully with her, and not at her.)

I'm glad you let her know about the crabs. I thought it was illegal to harvest them but wasn't quite sure.

Lola (For some reason I can't leave a comment using my Google blogger account.)

Anonymous said...

oooh miss v!

sounds like one of your anonymous beach house guest has the angry pants on today!

see what happens when you stare at license plates too long!!

lil' miss sunshine

BlessUrHeart said...

Seems so, Lil' Miss, doesn't it? and too much Bob Evans caffeine can make ya cranky, too. LOL!

That picture of the what I thought to be the typical PJ reader perusing the thesaurus [we imagine] is also priceless, but your're right, Lola, it could be a little foote, as well, trying to figger out just what word she wanted next to use to spiff up a review of some of the most tired eateries in town. Goodness, if you're going to pay $26 for lobster, go to French Quarter and really enjoy it!