GREETINGS FROM FARAWAY PLACES!

We see y'all have have more than enough bitter Lemmon around town -
if Miss Vero could take it all away, we would!

When one travels to faraway places and occasionally checks in on the local news and we see the same story over and over and well, beat so far into the ground that it starts pokin China, isn't that enough? Just tell us when it's over OK?

We did happen to be in town momentarily to repack, readjust and regroup before takin off to our next locale and that was last Tuesday. We also happened to watch the County Commission meeting that day, where poor ole Wesley Davis wiped his worried brow and prayed to jumpin jee-ha-zus, that the folks who turned up to asked about Mr. Joe Baird's sitch-e-ation, would not turn into a pack of wild dogs fightin over a scrap of meat. Praise the Lawd, ole Wes kept the room cooler than the other side of your pillow on a humid, breezless Florida night!

If the folks who comment on TCPalm regarding this matter would have taken the time to listen to the meeting, UNDERSTAND IT and read the pretty darn accurate articles written by Mr. Henry Stephens and Mr. Elliott Jones, perhaps the issue would become clear for them. But someone named gubmintcheese already pointed that out in the Lemmon circus :

http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2009/jun/15/one-year-drivers-license-suspension-for-indian/

http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2009/jun/09/county-will-wait-until-court-rules-making-any-deci/


Maybe because everyone was so ready to play a Vero version of "The Lottery", they missed, what we feel was a more important event that day - the renaming of State Road 60. Only one Commissioner - Mr. Gary Wheeler had the ball... uh, courage to pipe up and ask "Why should we memorialize someone for doing their job?". We say yeah! Mr. Wheeler, because we will not be giving anyone directions by saying - "Oh, y'all just go west on the Stan Mayfield Memorial Highway about four miles, till y'all get to the dirt road... No! we are not doin that!

Another thing that we picked up Tuesday, was our mail and periodicals, one of which is The Hometown News. We like the Hometown News, it has a habit of not wasting our time. Oh yeah, and it's free.

Maybe y'all missed this interesting editorial from the publisher, Mr. Steve Erlanger, we are printin the whole dang thing just in case the link doesn't work and Miss Vero wants y'all to read it anyway:

http://www.myhometownnews.net/index.php?id=58503

By Steve Erlanger

Hello, friends. Imagine that you're working at the local corporate-owned, Cincinnati-headquartered daily. You have "stressed to the max" managers hammering you every day to do more. Sales are down, morale is even lower and the competition is driving you nuts. The bean-counters in Cincinnati are trying to tell you what to do from 1,200 miles away, your circulation is dropping every week, you have shipped a lot of your graphics jobs out to India, you've had layoffs, buyouts and cutbacks and freezes. What do you do?

Well, it appears that some genius over at the daily came up with the brainstorm of an idea to start spreading the rumor around Vero that their nemesis, the competition, Hometown News, is shutting down. What a great plan. They could go out and tell the businesspeople and anyone else who would listen that Hometown News is going to be closing in July. That would take the heat off of their own precarious situation. Maybe all of the readers of HTN would go back to the daily. Maybe the hundreds of readers, who are deciding weekly to save the money that they have been wasting on a subscription to the daily and get a free subscription to HTN instead, would come back to them.

That maybe the hundreds of local business owners, who have been pleased with, and doing business with Hometown News for years, would now go back to them.

Sorry, guys. The gig is up.

First of all, let me assure all of you that Hometown News is alive and well. We have actually been on a growth streak for all of 2009. We have no intention of closing, in July or anytime. The rumors that our "friends" over at the daily are spreading are just that: rumors.

Even after 28 years in this business, it never ceases to amaze me to what low levels our "friends" will sink. Now, this is not meant to disparage everyone over at the daily. There are some great folks who work there. Some I would even consider as my friends. I don't know if they would, but I do. But there is an element over there unlike any I have ever come across in my travels around the country during my career.

It started from the very first month, when they made copies of our sales pieces, along with a copy of an employment ad we had run with them, and they went around to the businesses and told them we were lying about our circulation, and that if (Hometown News) was so good, why did we have to run an employment ad with them?

(We never have since.)

It continued a couple of years ago, when they found out that a major appliance dealer on the Treasure Coast was going to run some ads with us and one of their head guys went over and told the owner that if they ran with us, then the daily might "have to revisit their rate structure," essentially telling appliance dealer that his rates would go up if he did business with us.

It continued with their attempts to strong-arm the area's nonprofit groups into giving them "exclusive rights" to the groups' events and fundraisers, thereby hurting the groups' efforts to raise much-needed funds. (Fortunately, most of the nonprofit groups have told them to go take a flying leap.)

And now this. Have they no shame? Have they no ethics?

Friends, there is no denying that the past year and a half has been the toughest I have ever experienced, as it has been for everyone. I am not fortune-teller and I can't predict the future. But I can tell you this. Hometown News will continue to give you the most and best local news coverage. We will continue to fight through this trying time, with your help and support. We will come out of this stronger, smarter and better then we went into it. And, heaven forbid, but if anything bad was going to happen to our Hometown News family, I promise you, you will hear it from us first.

Steve Erlanger is publisher and chief operating officer of Hometown News. He can be reached at erlanger@hometownnewsol.com.



Well, that certainly was interesting.

It really makes a person sit down and wonder, just why this daily local newspaper of ours is so darn hateful and just why we continue to allow it.

Could it be that we are a harbor of hate? Our friend Jose Lambiet of the Palm Beach Post sent us this:

http://www.page2live.com/2009/06/11/the-cnn-express-takes-wrong-turnpike-exit/



Miss Vero just wanted to check in and let y'all know that we are still alive and kicking. We will be in and around town, off and on, if that isn't too vague.

We are absolutely looking forward to the launch of VeroNews.com!

And...we have many surprises for y'all this fall.

Did any of y'all happen to catch Miss Vero on The Rhett Palmer Show for an entire hour and a half on a Monday morning (June 1st)? Ole Rhett was off in Europe and Miss Vero sat in with Mr. Charlie Wilson. It was the most grueling experience ev-ahh! As y'all know, we are not a morning person and Charlie lured us in with promises of bloody marys and fun. We don't know what we were thinking.


Well, take care hunnies! We'll be seein y'all real soon...and a big thank y'all and shout out to our many blog followers, fans and friends on myspace and facebook!

The funniest comment on our myspace page? -"What a fun profile, for Vero! Is that really allowed there?"

MWAH!

missvero@live.com

MAX ON MONDAY!

What y'all get for Christmas? Miss Vero is just thankful that Max didn't get somethin that would shoot his eye out, cause y'all know he's just that kinda fella...

CHAIN CHAIN CHAIN . . . CHAIN OF FOOLS

Max Newport



Before y’all get the idea that Max is getting all uppity and highfalutin while finger pointing at some recent prime examples of idiocy; when someone knocks on my door it is more likely to be a probation officer than a recruiter for Mensa. Before reaching back to Aretha Franklin for a headliner, I did a little search to find the word used to describe a gathering of fools, you know like a “gaggle” of geese, a “pride” of lions, a “murder” of crows, etc., and found this informative website:

http://www.npwrc.usgs.gov/about/faqs/animals/names.htm

You need to be careful how you use some of those terms. “Honey, look over there at that ‘pace’ of asses!”

It was Christmas Eve in the Newport household around 7:30 P.M. and children were hanging their stockings by the chimney with care with hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there and what did their tender young ears suddenly hear? St. Bobby of Bowden tried to remove all their cheer. Mom may or not have been wearing a kerchief, since I’m not even sure what the heck that is, but I was certainly capless (I repeat capless). Even though my head was bare, I was watching my favorite network, ESPN, and the talking heads were doing a live interview with Florida State University’s head football coach, Bobby Bowden. Since Bowden has been coaching at FSU since the Warren G. Harding administration, they decided to ask him about some of his favorite Christmas memories. I was hoping he would share memories of the discovery of fire or what Christmas was like before the emergence of the “horseless carriage”, but no. He mumbled and dadgummed about a few choice presents he received and then unleashed this nugget, "of course that was back when I believed there was a Santa Claus".

Stockings were dropped by the chimney with abandon and soulful eyes peered on the verge of tears. I had to provide comfort by explaining that it was just that crazy old man who always looks lost wandering the sidelines at football games and is always blowing his nose whenever he gets a television close up. Thankfully there was a paper towel nearby so that I could do some exaggerated honks and quickly change the subject, just like the interviewers were trying to do on ESPN. Thanks Coach. In spite of that little snafu, the Newports hope that you coach at FSU for many, many years to come and let’s keep that “head coach in – waiting”, Jimbo Fisher, awaiting for a long, long time. Just don’t mess with Santa.

After calming down the mini-Newports, I drifted over to TCPalm where the list of fools would fill a moderate sized auditorium. They were pushing one of their ever so accurate polls for their readers to vote on what they consider the top local story of 2008. One of the choices, the last one I believe, was; “Jim Mayfield dies after election as tax collector.” Who is manning the control booth here? Stan Mayfield served on our school board for four years, spent eight years as our voice in the Florida House of Representatives and was elected as tax collector in August shortly before he died of cancer at the premature age of 52. I met Stan back in the early 1990’s when he was on the school board and considered him a friend. What an insult to Stan’s memory that after years and years of public service his “hometown” newspaper can’t even remember his name and yet believe that his death is one of the top stories of the year?

Who are these boneheads? The next day, I checked the story again and it was still “Jim” in spite of a spate of reader comments. They have since corrected the error but it was up way too long. Long enough to know that someone forgot to inflate the auto-pilot.

http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/dec/23/vote-top-indian-river-county-stories-2008/

It would be charitable to forgive a mistake, but there is not enough space on my hard drive to begin a well needed tirade on the pure garbage produced by the Press Journal. I feel one coming. It is just too bad that the pompous attitude displayed in print and online does not translate to a degree of quality one would care to read. When I was a first grader, I would read the Miami Herald every morning before school. The Press Journal is a paper you want to hide from the kids.

Santa Claus did bring the Newports iPhones for Christmas. It was good to have some kids around to show us how to use them. The instruction leaflet in the box was about as helpful as a fortune cookie. It gave us a website where we could find a 154 page owner’s manual. It is in a PDF format so there is no search (that I am aware of).

So after passing out insults to St. Bowden and the Press Journal, I will say this. When it comes to the iPhone, I am a fool. A capless fool . . . on autopilot. Someone just rang the doorbell.

It must be Mensa. Happy New Year!!!

MWAH!

missvero@live.com

WAKE US WHEN IT'S OVER

Miss Vero doesn't like to say "We told y'all so", Miss Vero LOVES to say "We told ya'll so!" Comments and emails to our blog are suggesting that corruption runs deep in this county, not just in the counting of votes but in the campaign contributions as well. And at 4:45 pm yesterday, this little news item was spotted on the TCPalm website that made it to today's front page:

http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/aug/29/no-headline---29velect/

Yes, of course, this will make it right, we knew there was sometin up, we're all gonna write our State Representative (Um, would that be Stan Mayfield?) and then we're gonna march and hold signs and protest and we'll never be lied to again!

Arlene Lorenzo: How dare those people treat us like we're stupid teenage girls.

Betsy Jobs: We are stupid teenage girls.

Arlene Lorenzo: No. We're human beings, and we're American citizens. And four score and seven years ago our forefathers... did something.

Dialogue from one of our favorite movies of all time, we laugh and cry, laugh and cry and sing along to all the 70's songs:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144168/

Rent it, buy it, watch it!

But seriously, what are we all going to do about it? Alert the media? We are in the media dead zone between the Orlando and Palm Beach market for TV coverage and our local TV10 can't even get a website up and running. And y'all already know what we think of our cat litter newspaper.

If a presidential election can be messed with ( and it doesn't matter who y'all voted for, y'all know there was dirty politics at work), this local election is just gonna get swept right under the rug and our local opinionated columnist will go back to counting licence plates.

If ya'll screw one willing 16 year old boy, ya'll get 30 years behind bars, but if y'all screw the whole county, y'all get a high paying job!

http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/aug/29/woman-gets-30-years-in-sex-case/

Rowdy Republican Dinosaur Gets Kicked out of Undertow Party.

It was actually a pretty quiet night at the epicenter of cool. Everyone very politely watched the convention and Mr. Obama's acceptance speech. Miss Kitty finally got some free time to sit down and enjoy being with friends and Miss Vero was so impressed with those of y'all that showed up and voiced their support for the Beach House. Thank y'all so much!

We are off this weekend to get the heck out of town and go celebrate at the Palm Beach Playboy's weekend birthday bash! Found a swimsuit on sale at Dillard's that will encase our whale blubber butt and am looking forward to lounging by a pool and having endless cocktails perched in my hand! Will try real hard not to think of Vero Beach. Maybe it's all a bad dream.

MWAH!

missvero@live.com

A PERSONAL TROPICAL DEPRESSION

WELCOME TO INDIAN RIVER COUNTY,

WHERE NOTHIN EVER CHANGES AND WE LIKE IT THAT WAY!

There's a few things that Miss Vero's gin soaked brain just doesn't quite understand...

Like, how does a candidate with what seems like a gazillion very vocal supporters on every street corner waving signs come in dead last? (Kent Campbell with only 16% of the vote)

And, how can we ever take anyone serious named Duuurrrl? Oh never mind, he's got a gun.

And, what ever happened to that huge group of people that were gonna chase ole Gary Wheeler outa town?

Ya'll reckon they just took it out on Miss Sandra Bowden instead?

And will the run off between Miss Claudia Jimenez and Charlie Wilson be like a local production of "Inherit the Wind"? (and how do we get tickets?)

And finally who in the H.E. double toothpicks voted for Stan Mayfield? If there was ever a corruption, er, election that reeked of good ole boy politics, it was this one.

Should we be a conspiracy theorist? How do all of the PJ picks manage to get elected? Ahh, the most read newspaper on the treasure coast, and the only newspaper on the treasure coast.

Move over Russ, looks like we'll have the humble pie today.

A Sincere Thank You...

... is in order, for the wonderful and kind words from Captain Bill McMullen, who sent Miss Vero a very personal e mail expressing his thanks for what little support we gave him.

And now, to cure our election depression, we must drink many cocktails and go shopping, although not in that order.

MWAH!

missvero@live.com

SOAP OPERA!

Well children, we bet that y'all are wondering why Miss Vero is not contributin to all the political and gossipy hoopla that the PJ has been churning out lately. But where would we start?

Ira Hatch wants to get out of jail? If there's one thing that anyone who's ever lived in Indian River County knows it's not to get into trouble here. We doubt Mr. Hatch will ever get any sympathy, especially now that he's "indigent" and the public will have to pay for his defense.

Stan Mayfield's annual income listed at $31, 932? Yet his mortgage liabilities are 1 mil. Even with adding his wife's income, of $106,600 the formula for mortgage loan approval is off. And only mortgage liabilities are listed for the couple, no credit cards, car loans, insurance,anything else? Hmmm, we're not a financial planner but something's not right here.

With his Midwestern-weaselly-hot-cup-o-joe-Bob-Evans approach, Russ Lemmon grabs all the limelight in his pot stirring role as the PJ's local columnist, while poor Henry Stephens is out doing all the legwork and actually attending community functions and reporting responsibly.

Election Supervisor candidates Kay Clem and Kathy Hart in a catfight over a shopping trip.

Former Vice Mayor Lynn Larkin's civil suit merits huge coverage (with photo!) because...?

Kenric Ward throws out the delicious cliff hanger in his latest opinion column,da, da, da...Builder and political gadfly Joe Paladin - is a convicted felon. Tune in again for the next exciting episode!
http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/aug/13/kenric-ward-indian-river-county-sale/



Back in 2006 Tim Pipher was set to do a soap opera called - Vero Beach.

"Set in the southeastern Florida city, the soap will pit the past against the future as the principals of an old agricultural and citrus-based economy clash with the leaders of more modern businesses and influence."
http://www.southeasternstudios.com/Charleston_Post.html

Perhaps a sitch-e-ation comedy would be a better description of our local players.

Miss Vero thinks we should all mix up a batch of bloody marys and sit back and watch the sweeps weeks before the elections.


MWAH!

missvero@live.com

AND THE WINNER IS...

Only in Indian River County there should be two elephants, sometimes three.

Today's local news is interesting:

Tax Collector Hands Over Six Figure Job to Mayfield - Um, we mean endorses.

Couldn't they have just played poker for it?

http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/aug/12/indian-river-county-tax-collector-endorses-stan-ma/

Y'all would think that, at the very least, Miss Vero would get an invite to the Friday night "Roast"of Wesley Davis, still checkin our mail.... Oh, y'all didn't get one either? Must be some kinda bubba buddy ritual.

IRNA (Indian River Neighborhood Association) submits more entries than Common Ground in the "Win a Date with Miss Vero contest" - neither win (read July 31st post "Grow Up). We were gonna let y'all vote, but seriously why drag it on? It was one "endorse my candidate ad" after another. Everyone completely missed the point.

"Whether you’re 18 years old or 80 , you should not favor any organization when deciding how to vote…. Vote the person, not the organization."

That right there is about as much info as an 18 year old could handle about the upcoming elections (provided they are making their own decision and not followin in their mama or daddy's footsteps). So the writer of that quote and my lunch date yesterday was Miss Bea Gardner.

Now don't y'all go pestering Miss Bea for any info about Miss Vero. She has been sworn to secrecy and believe me children, nobody wants to see Miss Vero even a teensy bit annoyed. Let's just say it's not pretty. We are not endorsing or saying anything more about it. Just two ladies who have never met, having lunch. Check out Miss Bea's website and form your own opinions.

http://www.electbea.com/

My goodness, we have had enough of politics. For now.

Hmm, should we comment on the fact that a "correspondent" from the PJ reported on the Gloria Estefan concert at the Hard Rock and not our old pal Russ? We'll let him lick his wounds a while before we play with him again. We're just plain tired of that topic. Yesterday's news kids.

In fact, we are so tired of the goings on around these parts that we're gonna hafta send the Secret Squirrel on a mission tonight to deal with the candidates.

County Commission Candidate Forum: Hosted by The Indian River County Chamber of Commerce. Courthouse Executive Center, 14th Avenue, Vero Beach, 5:15 p.m.

The Squirrel just loves that sort of thing.

MWAH!


missvero@live.com

THE THIN MAN

For all of y'all that take the New York Times regular on Sunday, y'all probably read the interview with Gubna Charlie. He's very likable in this article and we wouldn't mind seeing ole Charlie running with the ancient John McCain. In fact if y'all remember, we imagined just such a scene in our first blog about Charlie -"The Power of Crist Compels Me" (May 13th). Miss Vero still wishes that we could get that man a sandwich to help fill out that suit or a nice gay stylist to actually get him a suit that fits. Miss Vero always wondered why we just couldn't get a paper receipt when we voted, like at the grocery store and it seems that Gubna Charlie has wondered the same thing. We're beginning to like him. A little. If-in y'all don't take that really informative yankee paper, Miss Vero generously provides y'all the link:
http://http//www.nytimes.com/2008/06/22/magazine/22wwln-q4-t.html?_r=1&ref=magazine&oref=slogin


Speaking of State politics, Miss Vero likes to play a little game called connect the newspaper dots and we found these bits of Charlie- related- to-Vero news that informs us of two important things;

#1 California Gov Arnold Schwarzenegger (who Miss Vero remembers, but Gov Arnold does not remember Miss Vero - really it's true!) came to Florida last year for a photo op and Florida Climate Summit with Gubna Charlie and they looked like Batman and Robin ready to fight the energy crisis:
http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2007/jul/13/summit_builds_enthusiasm_going_green/?breaking_news

#2 If you get a lobbyist and pay Stan Mayfield some money, y'all can get all that pesky energy bill stuff to go away, not by some silly ole democratic voting process!
http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20080622/NEWS/806220655/1417/RSS02

And finally a little Mayfield related story in between all of the PJ "dribble"-Honestly, why would anyone expect a doctor to properly fill out paperwork?
http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/jun/24/30gtcelano-makes-costly-mistake/



THANKS FOR HANGING WITH MISS VERO

Once again, Miss Vero must thank each and everyone of y'all that are readin faithfully and sending in such nice emails and info. Please be patient, we have already told y'all that (unfortunately) we are only one damn person and we are trying to answer and deal with technical thangs as fast as we care to. If-in y'all had problems with the links in the past few days go back and check again, we're pretty sure we done fixed it.

If-in there's some other issues y'all have - sugar- fix you a cocktail or two and keep drinkin 'em until that particular issue just fades away...

MWAH!

missvero@live.com

MISS VERO IS WATCHING

Miss Vero offers y'all news from Tallahassee - a dreadful place and so far removed from our watchful eyes. Good thing Miss Vero has a well connected pal in that big white tower (the most phallic building in the world, but don't take my word for it):
http://www.cabinetmagazine.org/events/phallic/mostvotes.php

Miss Vero regularly receives tips (no pun intended - ok maybe a little) about our local reps. So as always, Miss Vero generously shares:

http://blogs.tampabay.com/buzz/2008/04/powerful-state.html

Seems like our little gov Mr. Charlie is not the only one lookin to move on up. Florida is a primordial soup if-in you are some one with political aspirations.

Enough politics already! Time for a cocktail!

MWAH!

missvero@live.com