Thursday, May 29, 2008

MUCK IN FELLSMERE

Nope, this is NOT in Fellsmere, however, Miss Vero will explain all in due time chickadees.

Yesterday we stuck our tow in the muck that is Fellsmere, but Miss Vero bets that few of y'all know the history of this town. Fellsmere, believe it or not, was once in the running to be the capital of Florida, it sure was conveniently located in the center of the state. Fellsmere also had the distinct honor of having women vote in 1915, four years before the amendment to the constitution. There was a railroad connecting Fellsmere to Sebastian and a cattle trail west to Tampa. There was also another city called Brooksville, which was wiped off the map completely by some nasty Florida weather (sound familiar?). Anyhoo, there's a ton of this sort of info in the Library if-in y'all are interested and Miss Vero has better things to do than to keep teachin y'all history.
http://www.cityoffellsmere.org/

What Miss Vero will do is give you a quickie, day tripping tour of what to see and do. First - drive real slow cause the Fellsmere po-po are very attentive to that speed limit thang. In fact get yoself a designated driver because y'all know with Miss Vero, there will be alkeehol involved. Go to Giseppee's and have the best damn pizza in the county. Don't argue with us, it is the best damn pizza.

Then take a little riding tour of downtown on a street known as Broadway, this should take you about a minute. Or, just park and hoof it around but don't miss the historic church or the old Fellsmere Inn that some fool bought from Miss Margaret and thinks they can turn a profit. Miss Vero really liked the days when the previous owner and Fellsmere native, Miss Margaret had her little funky antique shop there. Again, another place with a lot of forgotten history.

By now y'all will have noticed Marsh Landing.
http://www.florida-secrets.com/Restaurants/EC/Marsh.htm

Go on in and look at all the groovey pics and stuff on the walls. Maybe, if-in y'all are lucky, Miss Fran Adams will be there, she is the owner and the Queen of Fellsmere. Start the cocktail hour at their new bar (Miss Vero is thrilled to see Miss Fran serving alkeehol!). Get your driver a sweet tea in a mason jar to sip on. Profusely apologize for not eatin there, not because the food's not fabulous, but because y'all just had the best damn pizza at Guiseppe's and we must save room for alkeehol. Promise Miss Fran y'all will be back and keep that promise.

Now comes the fun part. Drive west on 512 towards nowhere till y'all see the "Sugar Shack" on the right. Sit yoself down at the bar and try to get drunker than the bartender. Just try, Miss Vero can't even do it! and we're not talkin about Big Barb neither. By the way, ask about Big Barb, Miss Vero always liked her. Get everyone riled up big time by askin who "Damian Gilliams" is. This is where the designated driver comes in handy, cause now it's time to go.

YEEHAW JUCTION - GATEWAY TO KENANSVILLE!

Tell your driver that y'all want to go to YeeHaw Junction. Of course the driver will think y'all are stoopid drunk and while this is probably the case, somehow convince them to take you to YeeHaw. At the corner of route 60 and 441, take notice of the Desert Inn, where they "Always pass all health inspections". Good thing cause, y'all might just have to stay there some day, maybe that day. http://www.desertinnrestaurant.com/


Drive north on 441 over and under the Florida turnpike that bypassed and thereby killed a town called Kenansville. At the corner of 441 and Canoe Creek Road, take a left.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenansville,_Florida


It is there in the ghost town of Kenansville, that you will find two remarkable things. First on the left the (reportedly original) Heartbreak Hotel of Elvis fame. Stop in, somebody fixed it up real cute and they have a little gift shop and everything.
http://www.ghosttowns.com/states/fl/kenansville.html


And second, just a little ways down the road, you will see that sign posted at the beginning of today's story, The Lake Marion Restaurant and Grocery - which has the BEST CATFISH IN THE STATE OF FLORIDA! And don't go tellin Miss Vero about Lightsey's down in Okeechobee, we know all about that. Besides, The Lake Marion Restaurant also has the best swamp cabbage. By now y'all should be needin somethin to soak up the alkeehol. Enjoy!


Now go brush up on your Florida history and make Miss Vero proud, cause tomorrow we have a real treat for y'all:


SUPER DELUXE EDITION OF THE BEACH HOUSE - CHARLIE CRIST PIPER VISIT, RUSS LEMMON SIGHTING, FABULOUS PARTY AT THE UNDERTOW, MISS VERO'S SEX AND THE CITY SOIREE

So we'll see y'all tomorrow, right?

MWAH!


missvero@live.com

1 comment:

Miss Barbara said...

Thank you for posting this tour. I LOVE IT! I have printed it out and will take it soon.