Friday, August 22, 2008


Well, now y'all know how we feel about that.

But come on, disaster? Yes it rained and yes, it flooded, but Miss Vero has been around Florida too long to think this is unusual. The only thing new is the availability of digital cameras, internet access and political photo ops -Hello Gubna Charlie! Like we told y'all yesterday, we live in a swamp.

We finally ventured out and went to visit our good friend, Dr. John, who made the very precise observation that if y'all fly over the state, it'll make you wonder how it's possible for anyone to live here at all. Among his many abilities, Dr. John is also a pilot. We are still wondering why WZZR doesn't give him his own damn show.

We have another friend from high school who went on to become a hydro geologist for Dade County and when we asked him about the aquifer, he told us - well let's just say it's not pretty. And for all of y'all that are out there splashin around in the new "lakes" in your neighborhood, well hunnies, look up these words - "cesspools" which are sometimes inhabited by "watermocasins". If those two ideas don't get y'all out them damn puddles, we don't know what will.


Ok, it's time to fess up. We've been listening to Rhett Palmer. Yes we know, crazy, but true. But kids, ever since he made the claim that he was at Woodstock, we have wondered what else would come out his silly mouth and now that it's election time, he's had a lot of the local candidates on and we get to hear what comes out of their silly mouths too.

A few things that made us laugh and cringe:

So we're driving back from Dr. John's yesterday and Rhett is telling this story about trying to interview Mike Wallace and things keep going wrong and he doesn't get the interview. Then "by divine intervention" he meets Wallace in a movie theater and because he's been such a pest (he even knows he's a pest!) he finally gets the interview. Now the funny part is when Rhett says "divine intervention", his co-host David Walsh (who we love!) says "because God has nothing better to do than intervene for you"!

Then one day, Rhett has all four republican Indian River County Sheriff candidates on his show and announces that "one of these men will be the next Sheriff". Ok, so that pretty much means that if you are a democrat or non-party affiliate you're screwed in Indian River County. Hmm, should we even be surprised?

Speaking of republican conservatives, what's up with Charlie Wilson? He proudly runs his "conservative" radio and print ads taking the moral high ground and NOT wanting to teach sex education in schools, but is well known around town for leering at every blond that crosses his path.

Yes, let's apply the "just say no" technique to sex, because it worked so well for the drug problem.

Oh yeah children, Miss Vero is calling everyone out on the playground today.

Overheard and reported to Miss Vero:

At Tuesday's soggy county commission meeting, commissioner "A" asking commissioner "B" if commissioner "C" is "Miss Vero". Now y'all know we love the attention, but don't these people have more important matters of discussion or a county to run while a "disaster" tropical storm is looming? Ooops, rhetorical questions, sorry.

We were actually thinking of attending that particular meeting but an email from the Indian River County Emergency guy Tony Carper (no offence but we really miss Nate McCollum), said to stay home. Stay home means don't go anywhere right? So we didn't go, we watched the meeting later that day on their website and we noticed for the first time that they have something called an "invocation" before the meeting, which is a prayer!

Let's review:
Things that don't exist in Iran - Atheists, Homosexuals and Sex Education.
Things that don't exist in Indian River County - Atheists, Homosexuals and Sex Education.

Miss Vero is one that does not like to mix religion with politics or vice-a-versa and yesterday,when we were done laughing at, um we mean, listening to Mr. Palmer we turned our attention to NPR where this interesting discussion of that particular subject was featured:

And here's the article - "More Americans Question Religion's Role In Politics,
Some Social Conservative Disillusionment"

We said this before and we'll say it again, Miss Vero would like to point out that we feel the same way about some one's religion as we do about some one's penis - only bring it to light when asked and never, ever, try to shove it down some one else's throat.

The last time we uttered those words was in our very third installment of the Beach House (read May 2nd post "Forgotten Vero Beach") where we discussed the French Quarter restaurant. Maybe it was all the disaster flooding that ironically had us dining there again last night.

Kids, the place was packed! Chef Ian sure is doing something right, maybe it's the Thursday night lobster special. We were just happy to see one of our favorite people, Miss Anna, formally of Charlie's South Beach (another closed Vero restaurant). We can always count on Miss Anna to be absolutely charming and we adore the fact that her wine knowledge always makes us happy.


We hear that there's a luncheon tomorrow, sponsored by NOW (the National Organization for Women). Here's the contact info:

Indian River NOW: Celebrate Women's Equality Day. Marsh Landing Restaurant, 44 N. Broadway, Fellsmere, 11:30 a.m. $16-$20. at the door. Registration: (772) 794-7773

Miss Vero has fond memories of way back when little Miss Vero had herself a job as a press liaison in Washington D.C. for NOW. But that was then and this is NOW now. A tamer version of the fiesty NOW, this is a quaint little group in Indian River County that are giving a forum to the women candidates and more importantly commemorating the anniversary of the woman's right to vote. Fellsmere, for all of y'all that don't know, was the first city in Florida to allow women to vote - five years before the 19th Amendment.

So it's fittin that there should be a luncheon at Marsh Landing and we think we will pop in and say hello to Miss Fran Adams, the queen of Fellsmere and Miss Sarah the mayor (if she's in attendance). In case y'all haven't noticed we sure do like Fellsmere. Did y'all noticed they weren't whining about floodin, they just got out the ole airboats and got around just fine. Not like these people:


Told to us by a John's Island resident - "Apparently after just getting off the phone with "God" and demanding that the rain stop, the next call was to the club demanding that the golf course open. Whomever this particular person is darhling, could not understand why his demand was not met and complained loudly to other club members."

Seems that some golfers are impatient to get back to their resource draining pass time, even Miss Vero got an email from our own club that assured us that all was being done to solve the drainage problems. One more time people - WE LIVE IN A SWAMP!

We're still sorting out our emails but here's a really great picture from our friend and beach real estate queen, Barbara Martino-Silva, who ventured out on the beach after the storm:

And check this out! Another friend, who would like us to call him the "Irritable Chimp" (and Miss Vero will happily comply), sent us the coolest thing ever! We just, love, love, love this:

OK! We done wore out our welcome today! We know y'all were a little disappointed this week, cause we didn't keep y'all that entertained during the storm, but we sure hope we made up for it today. Thanks for all the emails!

Time to mix up the martinis and get ready for the weekend, see y'all Monday!


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